Posts Tagged politics

My Precious

16 October 2008

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:  sore

It looks like the news of the Mother’s shutdown from last week stirred up a bit of a panic.  I hope you all were able to find at least one final bag for yourself.  I myself have more stashed away than I’ll be able to consume before they go bad.  Thanks in large part to our own Booty Lou, who personally plundered the East Bay for me.  Thank you, Sus!!!

Other than that, it was a pretty tame weekend and week.  I got to see Sean and Anna and meet some of their friends.  Skipped Gossip this month (Misfits night?  Hmmm…).  Had some R&R time on Sunday, relaxing in the sun.  Been tired and anxious all week, but not entirely sure why.

I should mention that I got a new phone.  And while that in and of itself isn’t big news, part of this transaction included a switch to Verizon and a huge improvement in my reception, particularly while at home.  So if you’ve been a victim of the persistent buzzing on the line when you talk to me at home… your troubles are over.  The new phone is nice too though.  They’re getting more and more like little computers, and this one has a QWERTY keyboard and can store a bunch of MP3s, for all the good that will do me.  And I finally broke down and got a Bluetooth device too, mainly for driving.  So yes, now I’m going to be one of those d-bags walking around looking like he’s talking to himself.  But what else is new?

Did you all watch the debate yesterday?  Oh man, I know that most people just saw what they wanted to see, but what I saw was a very negative McCain offering nothing but desperate allegations, all of which were categorically explained and dismissed by Obama.  Maybe I’m wrong here, but it’s just like 2000 and 2004 when I watched Bush speak and thought to myself, “there’s no way that half the country is buying this.”  And yet they did, and Bush was elected.  Twice.  And now, the same people that are only now seeing the error of their ways with Bush (evidenced by his record-breaking low approval ratings) are buying McCain instead.  When will you learn?  I don’t usually fret too much about things like the economy, as I always figure the experts are on the case and it will be taken care of.  But even I’ve been sweating the last couple of weeks.  Obama’s got a reasonable lead in the polls, and getting him into the White House is our first positive step on the sure-to-be-decades-long path towards undoing the damage Bush has done.  I’m hopeful that Obama’s going to win, but I’m waiting to see what other last-minute tricks the Republicans have up their sleeves.  And I shudder to think what we’re in for if Frodo fails and McCain gets the ring.

And if that wasn’t enough doom and gloom… P.S. tomorrow is the 19th anniversary of the Loma Prieta earthquake.  Oh yeah, and then Tuesday will be the 140th anniversary of the last big Hayward Fault earthquake.  Which just so happens to shake about every 140 years or so.  Sounds like we’ll have a Bay Area disaster on our hands any day now.  🙁

I don’t anticipate many of you reading this and getting back to me in time to affect my decision, but tomorrow morning I will have the opportunity to get this year’s flu shot.  For the first time in my life, I’m seriously considering it.  Especially after my miserable flu experience last year.  Any strong opinions one way or the other?

Well shit, kids.  I’m beat.  And I don’t have a quote for you this time either, so I’ll continue with my vintage T.V. theme as of late.  Honestly, I remember very little about the Buck Rogers show.  But for some reason, I remember the opening sequence very well.  Do you?

Rooted In The Me

5 October 2008

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:  mellow

Can you believe that it’s October already?  The last year went by so fast.  🙁

Time is, as ever, speeding up.  And I know I say that a lot, but really this has been the fastest year yet.  The things I was doing, and the people I was spending time with last Summer and last Fall.  It feels so close.  It’s hard to believe that it’s been a whole year.  My late grandfather used to say something to the effect of “the years fly by, but the minutes drag.”  It’s never been more true for me.  How do I slow it down?  How can I?  As close as I can figure it, the years are flying by, in part, because my life is not changing much week to week and month to month anymore.  I live in the same place, work at the same place.  I enjoy music as much as ever, but even that has become somewhat “old hat” as they say.  The reality is that things aren’t that much different for me now than they were last year or the year before.  Maybe I’m not being entirely fair with myself here.  I have grown a lot as a person this year.  Matured a lot, I think.  I know myself better, and I’m learning more every day.  But the central issue, the undercurrent running through all of my issues from general life restlessness to relationships to panic and beyond, seems to come down to the $64,000 question: what are my future plans?

As I approach age 30 next year, I’m at a crossroads.  I’ve spent the last 29 years preparing.  I’ve grown, I’ve learned, I’ve acquired.  I’m stable.  I’m secure.  As is my nature, I’ve done the research.  I’ve prepared.  I’ve built a life for myself that’s designed to give me all the advantages possible.  And with this life that I’m so fortunate to have, I’m left wondering… so what now?  A house?  A family?  Should I go back to school?  Am I going to continue pursuing music?  Should I be starting my own business?  Should I be volunteering more?  Do I wake up every day just to go make money so I can go buy more shit I don’t need?  Basically, what the hell am I doing with my life?  How many more months and years am I going to be going to the same job, the same apartment, the same concerts, the same dance clubs.  What is the greater meaning?  What is the purpose of all of this?  Am I going to live my whole life only for myself?  Only to consume?  I’m looking for something bigger than myself.  Not necessarily a religion, and not necessarily a “cause.”  But some broader context that my existence fits into.  Obviously, these are some pretty major questions.  But I guess this is the right time in life to be asking them.  I have lots of pondering, meditation, and work ahead of me.  So… yeah.  I hadn’t really planned on getting into all that here, but there it is.

What say we take it down a notch from existential crisis to cell phone coverage.  If you’ve talked to me on the phone while I’m home, then you’ve undoubtedly endured a lot of buzzing and bad reception.  I think I’ve just about had it with Cingular.  The reception isn’t bad around the city, but in my apartment, it’s nearly intolerable.  I have friends that basically won’t talk to me when I’m home because it’s so bad.  I’m leaning toward giving Verizon a shot, but I don’t know if it’ll be all that much better?  Anyone have good SF cell phone carrier experiences they care to share?  I was looking at the latest phones at a Verizon store last week.  They’re all so complex now.  I like the QWERTY keypads, though that might make one-handed texting difficult.  But then, since texting while driving will be illegal come January 1st, when will I be texting one-handed?  Learning how to use a new phone does not sound exciting.  And all the touch screens and mp3s and all that bullshit.  No thanks.  Oh, and then there’s the question of whether I should keep my current number (with its East Bay area code that always confuses people).  It would be nice to finally have a 415, but is it worth the hassle of changing phone numbers and somehow communicating my changed number to all my friends and business contacts?  Change… meh!

It was a pretty lax weekend for me.  I spent some time roaming the Haight with Shel and picked up a few books and CDs.  In a clothing store there (Villains Vault), there are several paintings by local pop artist Jenny Wehrt.  They’re kinda “Photoshoppy” looking to me, nice colors, and she’s got great taste in subject matter (Morrissey to John Waters, Clara Bow to Bettie Page, etc.).  Painted on canvas, and not outrageously priced.  If I put more effort into decorating my place, I’d pick up one of her Moz pieces for sure.  Anyway, last night I rallied for a brief appearance at New Wave City, where I was delighted to hear “20th Century Boy” for a change.  Today, I skipped Elvis Costello and Gogol Bordello at Golden Gate Park to instead stay home, clean house, sit on my balcony in the sun, and read.  The weather was nice, so I opened all the windows.  Days like this remind me of lazy days when I lived with my folks.  It’s comforting and rejuvenating, and I plan on making a habit of it.

By the way, if you really loved me, you’d buy me stuff from the Tiki Farm.  Me gusta!

We’re just about a month out now from the election.  I feel pretty confident that Obama’s got it locked up.  And Biden really impressed me the other night in the debate.  And honestly, there was a time (around 2000) that I actually really liked McCain… but of course, he’s changed.  But Palin, man, she just makes me cringe.  I’m embarrassed for her and for our country.  Anyway, I won’t spout off a bunch of my own political views here and now, but something we can all agree on: get out and vote!

Thanks to Blanca for sending out this video.  Now you all go send it to your lazy friends.

While sitting in the sun today, I read through a few more Grimm’s fairy tales.  I feel like it’s one of those things that I need to read as an obligatory part of belonging to Western culture.  They’re interesting, but far from what I think most people refer to as a “fairy tale” in modern terms.  They’re short, disjointed, dishonest, violent, and surprisingly seem to contain little or no moral value.  They read like something the author truly is making up as they go along… throwing in a last-minute character here or some arbitrary magical physics there.  Ah well, I guess it was another time.  But it’s still making for interesting and occasionally beautiful reading…

“My love for her is so great, that if all the leaves on all the trees were tongues, they could not declare it.”

… le sigh.

Frankie Say Relax?

18 August 2008

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:  anxious

I’ve spent the last week in several appointments trying to get as much of a handle on what’s going on with me as I can.  All the evidence seems to point to me having high anxiety and panic, which seems to have come out of nowhere.  And though I am beginning to understand it more, it’s still extremely… inconvenient… to feel this fight or flight adrenaline come up several times a day for no apparent reason at all.  Over time, I expect to be able to manage it more effectively to the point where it’s almost a non-issue.  Or at least I hope that’s how it turns out.  Relaxation techniques, retraining the brain, pills… all possibilities for treatment.  And there’s the strong possibility that this is some kind of transitional phase in my life that happens to include anxiety as it works itself out.  The most effective thing at the moment is to keep my mind off it, because the more I think about it, the easier it is to get worked up.

It’s been a rough couple of months to say the least.  I’m in a weird place where things are getting turned around.  To recap, silence is gone.  Talk about the things we take for granted… how about silence?  With this ringing in my ears, I’ve gotten to a point where it doesn’t bother me too much as long as there’s other noise in the room, and I’m not thinking about it.  So ironically, I need noise to have peace.  And then with this panic thing, I have to occupy my mind with other things, because when I have down time and start to drift, it’s easier for the anxiety to come up and run away with itself.  Put another way, keeping busy keeps the anxiety down.  So irony of ironies, in order to relax, I have to not relax.  Frankie Goes To Hollywood would be so confused… er… I guess more confused.

It would be easy to get defeatist about all this stuff suddenly going wrong, but I’m convinced it’s all part the human experience.  Living in a perfectly healthy body is like being rich and famous… it obviously has its benefits, but at the end of your lifetime, you haven’t really lived like a normal person.  And of course you could say “why be normal?”  But I would answer you with this:  sure it would be nice to be waited on hand and foot and be filthy rich.  But you only have this one lifetime on earth, and if you had to pick, wouldn’t you want to have a life experience that at least loosely matches your fellow man?  What I mean is, why not live like most people try to vacation… “like one of the locals.”  Having difficulties and trials and tribulations and challenges and even sometimes having things go horribly wrong… it’s your connection to humanity!  It’s the real human experience.  And if you’re not being sufficiently challenged, then maybe you’re kinda just skating through life right?  One might even say you’re wasting it?

All that philosophical bullshit aside, life’s getting more complicated and difficult all the time.  At every turn, more crap you gotta do just to maintain.  I still remember when life was simply rolling out of bed, eating some Fruit Loops, and going outside to play.  Now look at us.

Moving on…

Gordon Gano (of the Violent Femmes) has a new project, and for whatever reason, it’s been hitting me just right lately.  I could listen to “Under The Sun” all night.

Shel had an awesome Team In Training karaoke fundraiser the other night, and I got to meet some of her great work friends.  And duet Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me” with her.  And watch the bear bartender and one of the regulars duet amazingly on “Suddenly Seymour” from Little Shop Of Horrors.  It was good times across the board.  But then Shel was sick on her own birthday!  Such bad luck!  Go wish her well!  Do it!

This weekend also was Jamboree’s going away party.  Sad to see her go, but she’s off on an exciting adventure.  I got to meet several of her friends and in the process also met some of the characters from Colin’s life.  Nice to finally put some faces to the names, but would have been nicer still if the Duchess himself had been present to introduce us in person.

Jamie and I tried out Cha-Ya, the vegetarian Japanese place on Valencia.  Not bad… if nothing else, it was nice to know that I could safely order everything on the menu.  And I think she enjoyed her first sushi experience?  Hit a few bars out in the Richmond.  Got a little hyphy.  No big whoop.  Then today, I had a fine afternoon with Sean and Anna, checking out their new place, walking their sunny neighborhood, and enjoying their delish cooking.  I dare say I even helped with it a little bit.  They clearly have a passion for experimenting and tracking down the finest ingredients.  I may not have the patience, equipment, or sense of adventure it takes to create all that great food… but I’m so glad I have such good friends who do!  Thanks guys!

What I failed to mention is that all throughout the weekend, during all these events, I found myself in a steady state of mild anxiety.  And every hour or so, having the sudden need to either consciously calm myself or occasionally even leave the room to get some fresh air.  No obvious trigger.  I mean, there were times that might seem to make sense.  On Friday I took a rare ride on MUNI and barely held it together.  When I finally got off the bus, my hands were literally dripping with sweat, which has never happened to me.  And over the weekend, I almost pulled over on the Bay Bridge when I started to lose it.  But then there have been times like I’m sitting at the table, just chatting with friends, and have the sudden need to bolt out of the room.  It’s so frustrating because it seems to come out of nowhere and for no reason.  And then eventually as fast as that feeling came, it goes away.  Here’s hoping I get a handle on it soon.

In other news, I think the Olympics are almost over, right?  Anyone been watching them (besides Shel)?  Whatever your opinion of the events or of China’s politics, etc., one thing you can’t deny: holy shit have there been a lot of controversies and shadiness going on.  Taken together all at once, it’s pretty unsettling.  But then, I guess I’ve been pretty “unsettled” all week.

“Give it to me one time now…”

Summer gives me one last kick in the nuts.

8 September 2007

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:  peaceful

Well kiddies, the days are getting shorter.  I stepped out of the house on Thursday to find a decidedly pink sun.  The sky was gray, but there was a pink glow on the parked cars.  This mysterious phenomenon lasted most of the day.  I guess smoke from a Bay Area fire and haze in general was the culprit?  All I know is I’ve had headaches off and on since Thursday.  Perhaps the air quality is to blame.

I’ve been using a new Crest “vanilla mint” toothpaste.  It tastes like that first fleeting moment of a Tic Tac where it’s sweet before it gets completely minty.  Heavenly.  Highly recommended.

However, not to be recommended: the GOP. God, I hate Republicans.  You sneaky fuckers.  You’re all for fairness… only when it suits you.

And another thing, totally unprovoked, but I have to say it.  Sometimes, I just think SATH are truly awful.  They have so much potential, and they waste it all.  Maybe they just never practice.  Or maybe they’ve never actually heard the songs they’re covering.  New YouTube videos have been popping up and I’ve been scoping them out.  Go see for yourself.  Dreadful.

I finally sold a guitar!  I’d been trying to sell those two for a while, and I found someone interested in the ES-295.  He plays in a local psychobilly band, so keep an eye out for my old axe.  You may just see it on stage soon, played by someone who’s going to give it the love and attention I never could.  🙁

Speaking of love, I love love love Savor in Noe Valley.  I’ve been going there for years.  It was where Jared and I used to eat probably thrice weekly.  I walked in there the other morning and saw David, the owner.  He reminds me of a bear version of Andy Bell.  Anyway, he hugged me hello!  The whole staff is similarly awesome.  I would defend that restaurant to the death.

Amy and I went to see Patton Oswalt, Greg Behrendt, and a few others at Cobb’s the other night.  I generally like all those guys anyway, but I forgot how much better it is to see comedians live.  When they’re playing off the crowd and letting things just happen, you get to see how talented they really are.  Not just funny, but lightning fast.  Funny on command.  It was really something to see.

Which brings me to today.  I woke up early to head out to Monterey and catch Shel crossing the finish line at her triathlon.  I am almost never out of the house early on a weekend, and it always reminds me of going on vacation with my family because we’d set out on the road early like that.  Monterey is not nearly as far as I remembered it being!  It was a nice morning drive through the mountains and along the ocean.  The only hitch was that on the drive through the mountains, I saw someone throw a wadded-up McDonald’s bag out their minivan window.  What kind of fucker does that?  The beautiful state of California beats the shit out of every other state with a bat.  And you throw your trash out the window?  You lazy fuck.  Get out.  You don’t deserve to live here.  I only wish I knew your mother so I could slap her for raising you so poorly.  But I digress…

I met up with Sus and we watched Shel in her moment of hard-fought glory (way to go Shel!).  We all grabbed a delicious lunch together and went our separate ways.  My way was to visit with my Pa (who lives out that way), and then drive home.  On that drive home, I began to realize how sunburnt I had gotten outdoors today (thank you, Summer).  My face and neck are lobster-red.  So as I type this, I am covered with aloe.  You may recall how much I hate lotion and the like.  Aloe is pretty much just sticky lotion.  No me gusta.  But with any luck, I will heal quickly and this will all be worth it.  Now that I would gusta very much.

I got off the freeway tonight and pulled into a shopping center.  I had been thinking about what I might try to do with my Saturday night, if anything.  As recently as a year ago, staying home alone on a Saturday night would have prodded me to slit my wrists.  Tonight, I chose to sit in my car, in a Walgreen’s parking lot, with the moonroof open, listening to a spaghetti western soundtrack, and eating ice cream.  Then I came home, am typing this up, and am going to play guitar till I fall asleep.  And that’s just fine with me.  The fact that this is just fine tells me a lot about myself these days.  Things have changed.  It’s a new ballgame for this professional aesthete.  I don’t need the constant club nights and the constant social interaction.  The constant validation.  At least I don’t think I do.  But I’ll still gladly take your validation in any form you want to provide it.  🙂

The Pendulum

8 November 2006

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood: relieved

While it’s not as nice celebrating it here in a hotel room in Santa Ana, I would like to express my delight with the first glimmer of political hope for our nation since I woke up one sad November morning in 2000 to find that Al Gore actually had not won the election.  Are things finally going to get back on track after this nightmare of perpetual 1984?

Should we be worried that The Daily Show is far and away the most sensible “news” program on television?  I know it’s comedy, but how is it they get things so right?  As though they’re the only ones that see the emperor has no clothes.  There’s no need for me to rehash all my liberal rhetoric here, but it sure is nice to watch Bush and company having to publicly face the fact they got their collective ass resoundingly handed to them yesterday.

And Donald Rumsfeld is casualty #1.

Amen.

Last Night In Penix

8 September 2005

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:  anxious

Tonight I saw the first clouds I’ve ever seen in Arizona.  All pink and purple.  Just like the post cards.  Something like a Maxfield Parrish painting.  It would have been beautiful if we all weren’t preheated to 350-degrees out here.

Why, oh why didn’t I bring a guitar?  Rushing out the door this weekend, I was so sure I wouldn’t have time to be bored this week.  So sure I wouldn’t need it.  So wrong, I was.  Wow, so much like Yoda, I suddenly have become.

Today at lunch, I overheard this mountain of a woman with a southern accent ask her friend, “What’s a Boca burger?  Is that like a veggie burger?”  Her friend explained.  Then she says something like, “Oh, I don’t want that.  I need the real thing.  None of that processed stuff.”  Oh yes, lady.  You’re so pure and natural.  Nothing but the freshest dead animal for you, right?  God forbid you put anything unnatural into the cow-shaped temple that is your body.  Other than the double bacon cheeseburger with fries you just ordered, that is.  “I think all that veggie stuff is silly.”  Yeah, well I think you’re a murderer.  And so does God.

Urge to soapbox… too… strong…

I heard the Reverend is putting out a Christmas album this year.  October, methinks.  Can’t wait.

And on a completely different subject, as much as I hate lotion, I love its polar opposite: talcum powder.  Love the texture.  Love the smell.  Heaven.

I fly home tomorrow night, bitches.  Couldn’t you just pee?

Got A Match?

6 September 2005

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:  exhausted

Arizona.

The heat’s the same.  The restaurants are the same.  My rental car even smells the same.  But I’m through with this place.  Everything seems wrong.  The air feels poisoned.  I’m haunted by somebody else’s bad memories.  I want to hate everyone I see here.  I want to raze it all.  Even saying the state’s name outloud makes me wince.  Did I mention I think I’m going crazy?

I hate leaving California, but it always makes me feel so important.  Every time someone outside of the Bay Area gives me even a hint of attitude, I have to laugh.  Like I give a shit what you monkeys are doing scurrying around out here in the middle of the desert.

It makes me sick the way television news programs are exploiting the hell out of the situation in the Southeast.  I understand that everyone wants to hear about it, myself included.  But the way they sensationalize it into this circus… makes me want to slap every one of them across the face.  You heartless fucking animals.

Reading back on what I’ve just written, I am evidently full of piss and vinegar.  Perhaps it’s just time to go to bed.

I wish I had a guitar with me.
I wish I had my girl on the phone.
I wish I had a plane ticket for tomorrow morning.

“What you don’t understand, you can make mean anything.”

Unbelievable

1 September 2005

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:  indescribable

It’s amazing to me that, as civilized as we try to be all the time, in a matter of four days one of our biggest cities can be reduced to a George Romero film.  Corpses laying in the streets.  Looting, fighting, rapes, murders.  Cops turning in their badges.  Anarchy.  Martial law.  The Superdome is in ruin, stinks of raw sewage, and is packed with thousands of refugees.  Thousands of our own people, in a city that could just as easily be yours or mine, clawing at each other for survival.  New Orleans is a fucking war zone.  How horrifying for everyone there, and for that matter, everyone here.

I can’t imagine what all of those people must be going through.  A week ago, who among them was thinking to themselves, “soon I’ll be wading through poisoned flood water and the floating carcasses of my neighbors to get to the only place left in the city that’s above water.  If someone doesn’t shoot me for my raft, that is.”  To think that in a matter of days, your life could be transformed from everything you’ve worked to build into a nightmare like this.

I am in disbelief.

Condoleezza Rice

19 January 2005

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

OK, no matter what your political views, or even your views on her record in specific… no one can deny one simple fact about her.

Sweet sassy molassey, is she ugly. Holy shit. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been less attracted to a human being. She’s a fucking monster. I know, that’s totally low class of me to attack looks, but she’s noteworthy.

Jesus Christ.

Ew.

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