Posts Tagged meta-blogging

I continue to struggle with finding what place, if any, this blog holds in my life anymore. Fleeting thoughts on current events make more sense to share on social media, as those will be seen more immediately and by way more people. Then as I mentioned recently, Facebook has taken the place of this blog in terms of me trying to record any semblance of a journal.

Side note… just thinking about that gives me anxiety, as you may have gathered I like to hold on to information. There are years of my thoughts and “social” interactions that only Facebook has a record of. My nature is to want my own copy of that in case anything ever happens to Facebook, but I can’t imagine what it would take to get a dump of all of one’s Facebook activity. But that’s a problem for another day.

I guess broader expositions about life in general still belong here at least? To that end, this is where I’d get into those big thoughts and major happenings. But here, too, Facebook complicates matters. In the last several years, we’ve all come to increasingly understand (and fear?) data privacy issues and the influence big data has on our politics, finances, and lives in general. Who among us has’t been unnerved by the prescience of an eerily-timed advertisement on our feed? I don’t imagine I’m alone then in being a little wary of what kind of personal information I share here (or anywhere). This may have changed since my early days of blogging, but I’m usually pretty careful about names and locations. I never talk about where I may or may not work.

Perhaps I’m being paranoid, but for those reasons, it also seems risky to talk openly about health stuff. So I guess for the time being, I’ll engage in what I believe the kids call “vaguebooking” in order to record something for posterity in lieu of a true journal. Suffice it to say it’s been a rough couple of months health-wise — physically, mentally, and emotionally. Possibly the worst of my life, and that’s not an exaggeration. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, has really been piling it on lately. It’s led me to touch on rare (if not altogether new) depths of anxiety, depression, and even anger. But I have support, I’m fighting hard, and I’m surviving. For now, that’s gotta be enough. What choice is there? You endure… until you can’t.

“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.”

— Pema Ch

Ripping off my 2008 self ripping off David Byrne? An inauspicious beginning, to be sure.

Well, friends… you’d be forgiven for thinking I’d died, being that my last post was in 2013. But mostly dead is slightly alive! In fact, I was so alive that I could no longer find the time and interest to write about it. The occasional Facebook post has served as a sparse diary in the interim. Apologies for not leaving you a more formal goodbye here at the time.

It seems I’m back, at least for the moment. For a variety of reasons, I guess. A few things left unsaid. Maybe some new things to get off my chest. Lots has happened in the last six years, sure. Left San Francisco during its descent into tech bro madness. Moved to Hawaii. Moved to SoCal. Have lived with a significant other. It’s been a wild ride, and so much different than I could have foreseen back in 2013.

I truly don’t know how this will go. Do I even still have the same writing voice? Will I stick with it for a while or will this single entry simply supplant the last as the last? Do I have anything interesting to say? (Did I ever?) Tune in to find out! Or don’t. I realize commanding an audience on some random independent blog is a tall order these days. As before, I guess I’m doing this more for myself. More a journal than anything else. Record keeping. Chronicling.

I shudder to think what might be going through the mind of those few of you who’d “subscribed” to this blog as you read this latest entry nearly 10 years after you first joined up. I suspect the ol’ unsubscribe is soon to follow, but for what it’s worth: hello, and I hope you’re doing well this decade! No hard feelings. ❤

If I’m being honest, I’m already second-guessing this whole revival. In some ways, I’m a different person than I was years back. For instance, there was a time when I was super motivated to play music. I felt like I had a lot to say, and I wanted the world to hear it. But it’s not like that anymore. I feel like I don’t have much to say, and I don’t really give a shit who hears it. Nothing to prove, no one to impress. Less interested in changing the world. All standard aging stuff, I suppose. Older and wearier now, coming to grips with the fact that the body is beginning its decline. Over the hill, as it were. I’ve long taken for granted that all doors are open to me and that anything is possible. To whatever extent that may have been true in the past, there’s no denying that a turning point has been reached. Not that my cart is careening toward oblivion exactly, but I think it’s fair to say the best one can hope for is to slow it down. Gravity is not in our favor. Keep healthy, take care of yourself, and do your best to hold back the inevitable tide for as long as you can. Is that the full half or the empty half of the glass talking there? I’m not sure yet.

“Things fall apart… it’s scientific.”

Well friends… I see that it’s been about two months since my last post.

It’s been a rough few weeks for my beloved car.

After days and days of dealing with open source tech support (who are helpful but ultimately not on the hook for anything), I finally figured out a way to get this “subscribe” feature working.

For continuity’s sake, I figured I should start by linking us to the past.

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:

Welly welly well… it’s 2010, and here I have finally moved off of MySpace’s blog, where I started all those years ago.

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood: