Diversion

DIVERSION – Only I Am I

14 September 2009

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood: crazy restless

Nothing profound to report at the moment, kiddies. I just wanted to point out something that recently occurred to me: Morrissey has written a lot of songs with a certain song title theme. Do you see it?

  1. I Am Hated For Loving
  2. I Am Two People
  3. I Can Have Both
  4. I Don’t Mind If You Forget Me
  5. I Don’t Owe You Anything
  6. I Don’t Want Us To Finish (unreleased)
  7. I Have Forgiven Jesus
  8. I Just Want To See The Boy Happy
  9. I Keep Mine Hidden
  10. I Knew I Was Next
  11. I Know It’s Gonna Happen Someday
  12. I Know It’s Over
  13. I Know Very Well How I Got My Name
  14. I Know Who I Love (unreleased)
  15. I Like You
  16. I Misses You (unreleased)
  17. I Started Something I Couldn’t Finish
  18. I Want The One I Can’t Have
  19. I Will See You In Far-Off Places
  20. I Won’t Share You
  21. I’d Love To
  22. I’ll Never Be Anybody’s Hero Now
  23. I’m Not Sorry
  24. I’m OK By Myself
  25. I’m Playing Easy To Get (unreleased)
  26. I’m Throwing My Arms Around Paris
  27. I’ve Changed My Plea To Guilty

So that’s all I had to say, really. The quote of the week, appropriately enough, is an ingenious epitaph Mozzer once proposed for himself:

“Well, at least he tried.”

DIVERSION – Self Improvement

16 December 2007

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:  busy

OK, so I’m finding that with Christmas and everything else going on right now, I just don’t know when I’m going to have time again to write a proper blog.  But to hold you over until I do, I thought I would paste in here some of the funnier email subject lines that have come through my spam filter lately.

I do wonder, who writes this stuff?  I guess the intention is to strike some chord of self doubt in men that will ultimately motivate us to go to some shady website and either buy a product or contract a computer virus?  I also wonder how effective spam email like this really is.  On the one hand, you’d have to be an idiot to go along with it, but on the other hand, it must cost virtually nothing to send out millions of messages like this.  I will include my initial reactions in red.  Enjoy…

She will certainly appreciate your new dick at its true value!
Yes, I’m sick of getting low-balled.

Don’t miss it out!  Grow a monster in your pants for New Year!
Grow a monster?  Fucking ew!

Intensify her sensations by increasing your love stick!
Love stick?  You can do better, spam email.

Enormous monster phallus is every woman’s dream!
Is that true?  Sounds more like a foreign horror movie title poorly translated.

Forget about problems caused by your tiny penis!
Such as where to hang my towel?

Girls don’t like to get laid by baby dicks…
There are a lot of things wrong with that statement.

The advantages of having a big penis are innumerable!
Just think, I could hang two towels!

Girls do not like you because your dick is too small.
Stop sugar-coating things, spam email.  Give it to me straight.

If your warrior of love is too small, you may lose this war.
Your metaphors are improving, but I know you can still do better.

Turn your weewee into real monster!
Jesus, why always a monster?  Ew!

Tiny dicks need medical treatment.
To appeal to the hypchondriac I assume?

Show that you’re a real man deserving a real phallus!
Pinocchio: The Later Years?

Elongate your short sword to fit her scabbard better!
Pure Shakespeare, spam email.  Well done!

Your girlfriend leaved you alone because of your cock size.
Perhaps she was scared off by my “enormous monster phallus.”

Add some more male meat to your package!
This sounds like you’re talking about food.  Well it does!

Well I guess you can call it a dick.
Wow, spam email.  Harsh.

You won’t need to furtively put socks into your trunks anymore!
I must admit, I did not see “furtive” coming.

No woman would refuse from getting laid by a full-size dick.
Finally, the silver bullet I’ve been searching for.

The volume of your male meat is absolutely essential!
OK, OK, I’m sold!

OK, back to my “to do” list for the weekend.  One more week till Christmas, bitches!  Night night.  :)