As in Victory Day, friends.

I made a startling discovery this week when I inquired how much longer a certain soup was going to be on the seasonal menu.  Final confirmation is still pending, but my sources (Boudin staff) today assured me that during a recent menu revamp and due to overwhelming popularity, the Butternut Squash is “here to stay.”  Which I interpret to mean that the seasonal component of our collective menu strife is over.  No longer will the b-squash be subject only to the Fall and Winter months.  (Of course, this also effectively ends my ongoing struggles with Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder.)

So like I said, absolute confirmation still awaits, but at this point it appears, ladies and gentlemen, we have won.  Rejoice!

If all that weren’t enough, there is other food-related news.  Now I’ve made no secret of my love for a daily glass of delicious Ovaltine, but unlike the aforementioned soup, my proselytizing has been far less successful.  In fact, most people are terrified of its deliciousness, but I allow them that.  I myself have been on the ‘tine train at least since middle school, maybe longer.  And in that time, I’ve stuck pretty much to the main chocolate malt flavor.  Returning from her recent trip to London, Deanna was able to smuggle back a couple canisters of Ovaltine as it exists over the pond.  You may be aware that in the U.K., as virtually everywhere else in the world, food formulae are often altered to fit the tastes of the locals.  So I was prepared for this alien Ovaltine to be somewhat different, and I was not disappointed.  Overall, I’d say it’s milder.  Sort of halfway between pure malt powder and the good ol’ American staple.  Not bad at all, and certainly a welcome change of pace for my nightly ritual.  Like my own little European vacation.  Thanks Deanna!

Listening to: The Drums – “Summertime!“

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If you can believe it, I’m still sick as hell… but only a sore throat.  No other symptoms really.  And I’ve tried everything.  Every medicine and pain killer, lozenges, sprays, cold water, warm water, salt water, Listerine.  Nothing helps, and I’ve had no respite save for sleep.  I’ve been to the hospital and been tested.  They assure me it’s just a virus and there’s nothing to do but wait it out.  But this has to be the worst sore throat I’ve ever had, both in severity and duration.  And I’ve had many in my life.  The past couple of days it’s been excruciating just to eat.  Anything.  Even drinking water hurts.  Sucks big time.  So that’s been my focus the last couple of weeks.  It’s turned the volume down on everything else in my life, so you’ll have to pardon the lack of exciting content tonight.

Two interesting things I’ve learned from this experience though.  First, I’ve been told by two doctors in the last week that they’re surprised to see I have virtually no gag reflex.  That’s what you call “wasted talent.”  (Ha ha!)  More likely though, that’s just my faith in medicine and authority coming through.  Second thing, I’ve swished Listerine plenty in my life, and it’s unpleasant enough.  But have you ever tried to actually gargle Listerine?  Really let it get down in there?  Well I didn’t gag, but it almost brought me to tears.  Seriously, it’s awful.  Made me all emotional.

So while my sick days are being used up due to actual sickness, many of my good friends are travelling abroad at this very moment.  Big ups to my friends in Hawaii, Mexico, and the U.K.  Be safe!  Have fun!  Buy me stuff!

As I mentioned before, the next few months are going to be extremely busy for TCB.  Nick has been working overtime to book us a ton of new shows, and there are currently eight on the books for the next three months!  Check out the calendar… we’ve got Anaheim and L.A., Chicago and Milwaukee, Bakersfield and Fresno, Slim’s in S.F. and a return to Seattle.  We’re going to be up to our pompadours in flyers pretty soon, but that’s a luxury problem.  Looking forward to hitting some new places, playing a bunch of shows, and working up to the four-hour flight to Chicago!

“First there is a mountain,
then there is no mountain,
then there is.”

— Donovan

As I drove home from the hospital today (yes, my froat still hurts), I was listening to a Bobby Vinton CD.  Stuck on the unusually congested Great Highway, I was chillaxin’ to hits like “Blue Velvet” and “Mr. Lonely,” just trying to get my weekend started right.  It was the last CD my car stereo would ever play.

You see, when I went to switch out CDs to put in The Pixies (yes, I finally bought a Pixies disc), it wouldn’t read.  And in fact I found that no CD would read.  I don’t know what Bobby did to my stereo, but apparently he rocked it so hard that now it’s ruined for all other discs.  Now, I listen to CDs almost exclusively in my car.  That’s the time when I am able to really pay attention to it.  I don’t have to tell you what an inconvenience it is to suddenly have no working CD player in my car, or how frustrating it is that my Saturday afternoon is now spoken for because I now have to go pick out and install a new stereo.  But it’s deeper than that.  This wasn’t just any car stereo.  This was the JVC KD-LH3100.

When I first got my car back in 2003, I was excited for the first time to have a nice enough car for it to be worth investing in.  I kept it clean.  I bought it nice things.  I upgraded it.  And I picked out the perfect stereo.  I first saw this model at some hole-in-the-wall audio place while on a project in Boulder, CO.  I did the research.  I put real thought into this.  And I knew this was my guy.  “The KD-LH3100 features a full-motion 3D graphics display with variable color backlight for easy operation and visual confirmation of status and completed operations.  PICT lets you create customized displays on your PC, and then transfer them to the head unit’s LCD display.  PICT allows you to upload 90 still images and 15 seconds of full-motion video.  It can all be captured, created, and personalized by you.”  This thing can display and even cycle through a whole range of colors.  You can upload your own pictures, album covers, videos, etc. to be displayed, even when certain songs or albums are playing.  It lets you play a disc of mp3s; a common feature now, but virtually unheard of at the time.  To top it all off, check out the Tron-like blue trim plate lighting.  Ladies and gentlemen, seven years later this stereo still turns heads.  It is truly unique among its peers.

But now it won’t play CDs.  And as much as it pains me to replace it with an inferior model, I don’t see what choice I have.  And believe me, any replacement will be inferior.  I’ve looked, and even the heinously expensive models out there today don’t have the swagger of the KD-LH3100’s 1728-color 3D dot-matrix.  It seems my choices are ugly digital clock type displays or full DVD type LCD displays that have no place in an automobile.  So whatever I end up with tomorrow, my days of impressing with my JVC are over.  To those of you fortunate enough to see it in its heyday, hold tight to those memories.

Listening to: Bobby Vinton – “The Best Of Bobby Vinton“

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Three consecutive weekends of shows and long nights finally caught up with me this week.  I’m down with a killer sore throat.  I guess I should count myself lucky that that’s all it is?  So far anyway.  Hope it’s better tomorrow so I can get back to work.  You’d think a few days at home would be nice, but sadly I’ve been too fatigued to do anything but grow a beard.

Those three shows were great though.  Santa Rosa’s Chrome Lotus was a nice new club that has a lot of potential for becoming a regular stop for us.  Fresno was massive as always… a sell out well before Dead Souls even took the stage.  It continues to be among my absolute favorite places to play.  (And it doesn’t hurt that I get to hit a Claim Jumper on the way out of town!)  It’s even fun to drive out there, as long as it’s only once in a while.  The farmland is a nice change of scenery, and it gives me a great chance to zone out and catch up on music.  And then Sacramento was great too.  After two recent shows, we were a well-oiled machine for that show, and ended up with time to play what felt like a dozen encore songs.  It’s great that after hitting some of these venues and towns so many times, there are still hundreds of people that enjoy themselves enough to keep coming out.  We’ve got a ton of shows coming up in the next few months including trips to SoCal, the Pacific Northwest, the Midwest (yikes!), and another massive Moz birthday show at Slim’s!  And do you know we’re only a few songs away from having performed every song the Smiths released?  I’ve only got three or four left to learn!  Then what will I do?

Recently, Sus sent me this picture from Disneyland, and amazingly Joyce sent me nearly the same picture a few weeks later.  I don’t know where exactly this place is, but I love everything about this picture.  I want to live inside of it.  Do they sell t-shirts?

If I can make a sartorial digression here, I wanted to point something out to all the girls I know.  I’m no fashionista, but I know picante when I see it.  There’s a store I pass on Sutter here in SF about once a week, and though the shirts and blouses in the window are different every time, they are — almost without exception — amazing!  It’s called Nara Camacie, and I gather it’s a chain?  I’ve never seen another one personally, but I recommend you check it out.  The guys clothes look alright too, but the girls shirts specifically are lovely.  But then, what do I know?

And while we’re on the subject of clothes, you may have noticed some of the gems I’ve been sporting on the runway this season (read: the t-shirts I’ve worn to shows lately).  I’ve received a lot of compliments on a couple of Day Of The Dead / country western themed tees I have, and while I’d love to keep my source a secret, the artist deserves the exposure.  These shirts were adorned with the artwork of none other than Mekons drummer Jon Langford.  You can see his art many places, but here’s a sample of some for sale.  Yet more beautiful things I would love to decorate my place with some day.  If only I weren’t so lazy.

Tonight, however, I can blame my laziness on this blasted cold.  *cough*cough*  Goodnight!

Listening to: Various Artists – “The Smiths Is Dead“

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So, a friend of mine has a Stratocaster-esque guitar that he’s building.  He’s set on this particular body he bought long ago (has to do with the type of wood I think), but it’s routed to have three pickups and he only wants two.  So he’s got this hole routed in the middle of his guitar.  (For those of you who don’t know guitar anatomy and have no idea what I’m talking about, it’s the middle pickup indicated below.  Now I’m quite sure his guitar isn’t pink and probably looks nothing like this.  But if I’m going to show a Strat on my site, it’s gonna be pink, damn it.)

Because of the special type of wood and finish he’s planning, he can’t just fill in the hole and paint over it (which was my first thought).  So he needs to get creative.  Here were my ideas for what to put in that hole, in descending order of normalcy:

1. Put a gold plate over it.  OK, so that was actually his idea.  Just fashion a shiny gold plate that covers the whole space between the two outer pickups.  Not bad.  Depending on the color scheme, could look cool.
2. A “fake” pickup.  A façade, really.  Just because you have no use for that middle pickup doesn’t mean it can’t still be there.  Screw it in so it looks normal, but just don’t wire it to anything.  No one has to know it’s dead.  Presto!
3. Smoke machine.  As much as I hate hate hate the band Kiss, they did have one good idea.  Ace’s smoking guitar.
4. Lasers.  If there’s smoke, there’s gotta be lasers too, right?  Why not mount some laser pointer type things in there to shoot out into the crowd and blind anyone who looks directly at your guitar?  Alternatively, you could have a tiny flood light in there blasting your fans with your heavenly brilliance.
5. LED.  You could have a little light board in there that displays messages to the crowd.  You could even set it up wirelessly to accept text messages from your audience, and their messages could scroll on it.
6. Cubby hole.  Who says you have to put anything permanent in there?  Just leave it as is, and use it for on-the-go storage.  Keep some extra picks in there, maybe a rolled up set list.  Heck, what better place to store your doobage (if you’re into that sort of thing; I am not).  Of course if you’re going to go that route (ha!), you might combine with a version of #2 above and have some sort of fake pickup cover to hide your stash.
7. Camera.  Check this out… put a live camera in there aimed at the crowd.  Then have the video image projected on the jumbotron!  Then the crowd can see themselves larger than life on the screen behind you while you’re playing, and I can only imagine the kind of interaction that would encourage.
8. LCD screen.  Hell, this is 2010.  Just mount a whole LCD screen in the space between your pickups.  Then you could have some trippy swirling visuals running on it the whole time… a technicolor vortex hypnotizing the audience as you shred your ass off.
9. A glass eye.  Ideally, this would be a large and active eye that would move around while you played.  The intended effect would be to not only make the guitar seem alive (and possessed), but also to creep the crowd out completely.  I feel like this is something Gwar would do.
10. Fish tank.  OK, I know, it’s too small to hold a fish tank.  You’d have to settle for like… some sea monkeys.  And really, that’s not very rock and roll.  A goldfish would be better, but for that I think you’d need a full glass guitar.  Hey, there’s an idea!  Aquarium guitar!

Alrighty folks, that’s all for now.  Clearly, I should have been in a hair metal band.  Just look at that list.

Listening to: The Mamas & The Papas – “All The Leaves Are Brown (The Golden Era Collection)“

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You may be aware that there was a guitar fatality at a recent TCB show.  I am sad to report that both El Twango and my trusty Gibson 335 took a spill, simultaneously.  (It was a total accident of course, and the guilty party has made amends completely so that we’re square.)  Miraculously,  El Twango suffered only a scuff, which I was able to buff right out.  Such is the reputation of Telecasters being virtually indestructible I guess.  My beloved 335 however… was decapitated.  Words fail.  The grisly images appear below.  View at your own risk.

You can see, this is a pretty severe break.  Most would assume fatal.  I did.  I had already started writing his eulogy, including doing the math and figuring out that his short career was only 49 TCB shows and one Love Vigilantes guest spot.  In fact, he appeared at every single TCB show since I got him… because even the travelling shows where I only brought one, it was always him.  From the moment I got him, he’s been my number one go-to guitar.  This was all meant to be part of that tragic posthumous story, but as it turns out… he’s still on the operating table!  (Insert suspenseful soap opera organ flourish here.)  As bad as it looks, and as much as I’d be helpless trying to fix it myself, it seems there is hope!  You see, I’ve left him in the very capable hands of Gryphon (who does all my guitar work).  If he can be fixed, hope against hope, then they can do it.  He may never look as pretty, and his resale value will be shot, but he might still be functional.  Do you really think he’ll pull through?  I know it’s serious.

Independent of that though, a coupon has lured me into considering picking up a new guitar.  Now, I am a well-documented (though recovering) guitar addict.  These days though, I’m usually selling them rather than buying them.  But I do slip sometimes.  The quote of the week comes from Sus, as I was telling her about my latest guitar plans:

Benjamin: “Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in!  But as a testament to how good I’ve been about not buying guitars lately, a store I used to shop with sent me a 20% off coupon in an email titled ‘We miss you!'”

Sus: “Did the email start with ‘Dear Whore,’?”

For days, I feel like I’ve been in a non-stop slew of work, meetings, errands, and appointments.  Paying bills, working on taxes, learning songs.  There have been short, lucid moments where I think I have a handle on my massive “to do” list, but they’re fleeting.  It’s been a busy week.  And as Jared pointed out to me, it’s still only Tuesday.

But there is a silver lining.  I’ve got Friday off to relax and prepare for the TCB show in Santa Rosa!  This new club “Chrome Lotus” just opened up, and we’re gonna give it a go with Luv’n Rockets.  I realize this is the North Bay, and it’s a bit remote.  But if you’re anywhere north of the Golden Gate and south of the Oregon border, what else you gonna do Friday night?  Hope to see ya!

The times, they are a-changin’ folks.  In all areas of my life, things are shifting it seems.  I guess that’s always the case, but there just seem to be a lot of balls in the air at the moment.  New risks and opportunities abound.  New paths to follow at work.  New connections to make.  Some interesting travel possibilities coming up for the band.  For those, my instinct is to stress and be hesitant and skeptical.  But those trips — almost without exception — turn out to be fun.  In hindsight, some of my favorite memories over the last few years are trips I didn’t expect much of to begin with.  Portland/Seattle.  Reno.  Good times with some of my best friends.  They’re adventures.  Those trips, at first I don’t like them, but I often end up loving them.  But then, no is always easier than yes.

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.

— Samuel Johnson

Listening to: Quarter Mile Combo – “Motels, Gas & Beer“

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I tell ya, aches and pains just come too easily these days.  My friends tell me “welcome to your 30’s.”  It’s really astounding how little physical exertion can cause me to be sore all over for a day or two.  It’s pretty much a given the day after playing a show, for instance.   Even walking around in a hilly neighborhood.  It used to be that I thought well if I’m sore then at least I’m building some muscle.  But something tells me that’s not what’s going on here.  At least not anymore.

It was a fun weekend!  We spent an afternoon at a John Hughes movie marathon at the Castro Theater.  It was actually really interesting to watch Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club in a theater and listen to the collective cheers and sighs.  Clearly, there was a lot of love in that room.  I think it was also settled once and for all that I’m so much more Jake Ryan than Farmer Ted.  At some point, we found our way into a sex shop where I finally picked up the bear flag sticker I’ve been looking for for years.  Then later in the evening we caught Balls’ Dead Souls show in Menlo Park.  Yes, Menlo Park.  Also made it out to the Tonga Room for the first time ever, and it was incredible!  Reminded me of Don The Beachcomber’s in San Jose, which my dad took me to once when I was little.  (That particular location eventually became a gay bar, then burned down, then was paved over for a freeway on-ramp.)  Anyhoo, the Tonga Room and the Fairmont in general were pretty spectacular.  And of all people, we saw Joe Montana dining and dancing.  Go figure!

If you’re around this week, Seattle’s Love Vigilantes will be at Popscene on Thursday night (2/18).  Aside from the fact that they currently include TCB‘s Nick and Paul in their ranks, there’s a good chance I’ll be making a brief guest appearance as fake Johnny Marr for a song or two!

One of the first shows I ever went to as an adult was when I went and saw The Knack at Slim’s.  They had the number one hit of the year I was born, you know… not to mention one of the biggest hooks of all time.  I remember laughing my ass off when someone tried to hand the lead singer (Doug Fieger) a joint, and he flipped out, threw it back, and went into a tirade about how drugs were for losers.  Not exactly your typical rock star behavior, but I loved it.  R.I.P. Doug!

Speaking of hooks, I’ve had this guitar riff in my head for days.  I wish I wrote it, but I’m almost positive it’s from a song… and for the life of me, I can’t remember which song.  It’s killing me!  For this sort of thing, it’ll usually come to me in a day or two (along with a huge sense of relief), but no luck so far.  I’ve been listening to The Black Angels, Rage Against The Machine, The White Stripes, Led Zeppelin, anyone who might be responsible for this crushing riff in my head.  In trying to figure out where it came from, as I said, I’ve found myself listening to The Black Angels again.  They sound like The Doors and Joy Division got together to cover Led Zeppelin’s “When The Levee Breaks.”  And that’s a recipe for success.

Listening to: The Black Angels – “Passover“

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Well it was a very successful weekend from a TCB perspective.  We sold out The Blank Club, and in general had an awesome show.  We played a lot of newer songs (for us anyway), and Shel finally got to hear “Asleep.”  Also in attendance were several friends I don’t see that often, so there was a good vibe in the room.  I was stressing out leading up to this particular show, but it ended up being nothing and the whole thing went off without a hitch.  And when all the dust had finally settled, I felt like a million bucks.  Sing Blue Silver had a triumphant re-debut which included our own Nick.  Most surprising was their singer, who is an uncanny sound-alike to Simon Le Bon.  Well done!

My weekend continued with more live shows, including unexpectedly seeing a 10-piece soul band out of Santa Cruz called “The Inciters.”  I imagine Colin would have dug it.  The crowd there were the expected Northern-Soul-by-numbers types.  Funny how that homogeneity really stands out when you look in at other scenes, but it’s harder to spot among “your own.”  I suppose an outsider looking in on some rockabilly show would just see me as part of a sea of identical pomps and cuffed jeans.  And for the most part, they’d be right.

I even got out on a Monday to see The Dirt Daubers, a bluegrass side project from Col. J.D. Wilkes of The Legendary Shack Shakers.  I knew about the project and picked up the CD months ago, but I was blown away to see they were coming through town.  They put on a very entertaining show, albeit pretty tame by Shack Shakers’ standards.  Even they were surprised to see the big crowd on a Monday (and they said as much, indicating they were very happy to be in S.F. which was nice).  Only problem was that much of the crowd were young hipsters, dancing inappropriately to the music with a verve that was clearly contrived.  You could almost see them thinking “look how ironic I’m being!  I’m at a bluegrass show!”  I ran into Orlie there, and he pointed out that the lead singer from the Dead Kennedys was standing behind us.  We met him briefly, which was cool… though I must confess that it didn’t mean much to me as I’m not what you might call a punk aficionado.  I stuck around for a few songs from the headliner (Scott H. Biram), but I wasn’t feelin’ it so much, so I skedaddled.

Before I sign off, what is this fuss about Lost lately?  It seems like so many people these days have shows they just have to watch every week.  Somehow I never got on that train.  The idea of a Tivo is just baffling to me.  Really there aren’t any shows I watch regularly save for The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, and those aren’t the kind of shows that you have to see every episode of.  I will admit to one guilty pleasure though.  While I don’t watch it religiously, I’ll usually stop for Burn Notice when it’s on.  Aside from it being deliciously clever and chock-full of spy trivia, it also stars Bruce Campbell himself.  Me gusta!

I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night.

— Greek proverb

I was giving some thought the other day to why there were so many fantasy movies in the 80’s.  And seriously, there were a ton, do you remember?  It seemed like that’s most of what I watched in those days.  Just a steady stream of Jim Henson puppets and hand-drawn post-production lighting effects.  I guess we still have fantasy movies today.  The Harry Potters and the Lords Of Rings and all that.  Somehow though it doesn’t feel the same.  Today it’s darker, or maybe just more sterile.  They’re big and flashy, but they don’t capture that wonder the way they used to.  Too much CGI, and not enough Muppet.  Or maybe I’m just old.  (Some are better than others, of course.  I think the Hellboy movies did a decent job of getting a little of that wonder and mystery.)

How or why were fantasy flicks so huge just for that era?  I didn’t really come up with any answers, but it did inspire me to list all the ones I had considered.  So here it is, my top 10 fantasy movies of the 80’s…

1. Labyrinth — One word: Ludo.  Oh, and David Bowie.  But mainly Ludo.
2. The Neverending Story — Too many great scenes to mention.  Laser-eyed oracles, wolves, luck dragons, racing snails, and a giant sneezing turtle!  And P.S. the mom’s name, once and for all, is “Moonchild.”  How that question haunted me as a kid!
3. Clash Of The Titans — Claymation at its finest, and Laurence Olivier slumming it.  There is absolutely no need to remake this movie.
4. Legend — Tim Curry as the best devil ever put to film.  Tom Cruise in his younger days.  A great dark atmosphere, and two soundtracks from Jerry Goldsmith and Tangerine Dream.
5. Willow— Dwarves, sword fights, a giant two-headed monster, and an entire army being turned into pigs.  Pigs, I said!  You’re all pigs!
6. Conan The Barbarian — Really either of them will do.  And here they’ll have to represent the legion of “sword and sorcery” films that followed.  The 80’s were practically drowning in them.  By and large, they were terrible (Beastmaster?).  But the two Conan films are untouchable.  The definitive barbarian saga.
7. Time Bandits — Terry Gilliam seems to have a pretty good handle on fantasy.  Two of his movies are on my list here, and even his more recent stuff like Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas is almost fantasy.
8. The Dark Crystal — I think I need to watch this again.  My memories of it are hazy, but I know I saw it in the theater.  So I would have been what, three years old?  Yeah, hazy memories.
9. Return To Oz — Fairuza Balk before she grew up and got hot, a headless witch, and a bunch of creepy henchmen with rollerblades on their feet and hands.  Very nice.
10. The Adventures Of Baron Munchausen — He rides around on cannonballs.  And Robin Williams plays the man on the moon.

There are many that deserve honorable mention.  The Princess Bride comes to mind, though that was a little more like a romance.  The Goonies, though that was almost in John Hughes territory.  Definite honors to Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, representing the best of the countless post-apocalypse movies that were also so popular in that era.  Maybe Ice Pirates or Dune to touch on the sci-fi trend, like those Ewok made-for-T.V. movies and all that.  That could be a whole separate list!

You could even include the more general adventure movies with fantastical twists, like Innerspace and Howard The Duck.  Or cartoon hybrids like Who Framed Roger Rabbit.  OMG, remember Pete’s Dragon?  I guess technically, that was the 70’s.  OK, clearly that are tons more I could have named on this list.  What am I forgetting?  Dozens, I’m sure.  Feel free to share your faves too.  It all just goes to show what a golden age the 80’s were for this kinda stuff.  Ah, the good old days.  Nice reminiscing…

Listening to: Tyrannosaurus Rex – “The Best Of The BBC Recordings“

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