THE LAST WORDS

In August 2005, I was taking photos around the apartment I was living in.  This was just days before I moved out, following my friend and roommate Jared’s departure.  I just found one I snapped of the magnetic fridge poetry as it was last left by us and the various guests we’d had over that year.  For no good reason I can think of, I decided to transcribe them here.  Enjoy!

1. WHAT HAS HE DONE TO THOSE THINGS
2. IT ‘S NOT A RACE
3. BE N AIN’T WRONG
4. BACK FOR YOU
5. I HAVE HAPPINESS DESPITE THE LACK OF ANYONE ELSE
6. GUYS ARE 100% MEAN
7. THINK YOU’RE NICE AND YOU ARE LAST
8. OVERTIP SOMEBODY LONELY
9. WHY ALL THE SHORT DOGS
10. HIS BIG FINISH IN YOUR BUTTER
11. RATE OF MY LIFE
12. CAN OURS BE USED TO WIN ?
13. THE 30TH WOMAN IS RARELY PLEASED
14. YOU HAVE QUESTIONS?
    SHE HAS ANSWERS
    BUT THEY ARE ALWAYS ALWAYS WRONG
    SERIOUSLY
    ALWAYS
15. YOU’RE A GREAT PESSIMIST
16. NEVER BACK DOWN
17. 99% HUMOR FREE PANTS
18. YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT ANY WAY
19. YOU’LL SENSE WHO COST THE MOST
20. WE ARE ALL SO DOWN WITH SUNSHINE
21. THE LAST WORDS
22. DO WHOEVER EVER
23. PUT YOUR THINGS IN THEIRS
24. THE MORE YOU KNIFE PEOPLE, THE FUNNIER IT GET S
25. BUT YOU’RE ALREADY PERFECT
26. YOU HAVEN’T WRITTEN TOO MUCH
27. EMBARRASSING PICK-UP LINES ABOUT EASIEST CHICKEN FAILURE
28. WASN’T IT A DAY FOR FALLING
29. FORGIVE PEOPLE THEIR GRAMMAR !
30. KEEP YOUR EASY FRIENDS
    INTELLIGENCE IS NOT IMPORTANT
    HIT THAT
31. FEBRUARY IS EXTREMELY DARK
32. DON’T OVERSHADOW YOUR CYNIC
33. SHOULDN’T YOUR SUSPENDERS HAVE FLOWERS
34. BEST BUCKS ASKING AWARD
35. IN THE SENSE
36. EVERYTHING DOESN’T HAVE HUMOR LIKE GIRLFRIENDS
37. TALKING SAID SPEECHES HEARD
38. YOU SEXY THING
39. DOESN’T HAVE GYROS
40. PRODUCER SAID ONLY IF HERS BE TO FINER
41. MAY ALL AND TO CROSS ED COLLAR DULL
42. THE ROAD IS ALSO CLOUDING
43. CHORES _____ EVERY DAY
    P.S. GOOD SONGS
44. LAUGHS MAY SEE QUIRKS OF YOURSELF
45. SOMEONE THAT YOU MIGHT THINK TO SHARE MANY . . .
46. FAN OF THE EIGHTIES

I can’t say for sure, but if I recall, I think in general most of the dirty ones were mine, the gloomy ones were Jared’s, and the incoherent ones were from our guests… because neither of us would have stood for that.   And hopefully it goes without saying, but I wouldn’t read too much into any of this.  Let’s remember we were idly moving magnets around on the fridge, not confessing anything about our respective essences.  Though it may still be fair to say that it was a different world back when we roamed the earth.

Listening to: Orange Juice – “Coals To Newcastle”

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