Monthly Archives: December 2010

Before I get started, a quick note… when all was said and done, I made out surprisingly well on my 2010 Christmas wish list!  I scored a Dirt Devil, a Mouse Rug, and a calendar… as well as an amazing Marr/Rourke autographed Shoplifters 12″!  One of the best holidays I can remember from a loot perspective.

I know I say it every year around this time, but this seriously must have been the fastest year of my life.  It seems like just yesterday I was down on vacation in L.A. and playing a TCB show in Seattle for New Year’s.  And here I am again, closing in on another New Year holiday.  Last year, I know I had meant to do a “2009 in review” type blog, but guess I didn’t get around to it.  It’s too bad, because there was a killer link to share which of course I never got to: the now-slightly-less-relevant decade (2000-2009) in review from SFGate.  Still a great read down memory lane (when you’re done reading this of course).  Anyhow, I’m not going to do a full “2010 in review” as I have sometimes been known to do in the past.  But I will sum up some of the things I learned over the last year or so, mostly about myself:

1. I spend too much of my life (time, effort, money) trying to be clever.
2. I need to give up Clint Eastwood as a de facto male role model.  That quixotic idea of a quiet, mysterious, stranger… it only works in spaghetti westerns and romance novels.  Which is to say that it looks good on paper, but in practice it just makes you seem antisocial.  I need to be more outgoing, because there’s no glory in keeping to yourself all the time.
3. There are a lot of immature people out there.  Both women and men.  It’s not worth wasting your time, though that isn’t always immediately apparent.  But in the end, they don’t have their shit together, and they can’t be reasoned with.  In that regard, I feel like I know very few actual “adults.”
4. However, even the people you love are not perfect.  If you expect perfection or even absolute consistency from your closest friends and family, they are bound to disappoint you.  And if you expect or demand absolute consistency from yourself… well it can cause a host of mental issues that I can personally attest to.  So maybe the best you can do is strive to be as consistent as possible, allowing that you are human and can have conflicting emotions… and will not always act consistently… and will not always do exactly the right thing… and will not always be totally impartial and fair or even kind.  Despite your best efforts to be consistent, you will not always succeed, no matter what kind of priority you place on it (see #8 below).  But you can try your best and hope you get the same integrity from the people you let get close to you.  Without exception, people have character flaws and shortcomings.  People get confused and clouded by their emotions.  People have moments of weakness.  People make mistakes.  Even your favorite people.  And yes, even you.  It doesn’t make them evil.  It just makes them human.  (That’s not a free pass for anyone to do anything without consequences.  Which is hard for me to reconcile, because it complicates the process of distinguishing friend from foe.  So how do you judge?  Just by intentions?  I don’t know yet.)
5. Life is hard.  Every time I think I’ve got a handle on it, something new comes up and turns it all on its head.  And each life problem, health problem, relationship problem that I thought I’d never have to deal with (because I was too smart, too careful, too lucky, etc.) finds a way to impact me after all.  God knows what else is in store for me over the coming decades.
6. Speaking of the coming decades, here’s something to think about that is so commonly heard that you (like me) probably just ignore it.  But take a moment to really ponder this: how many things have you put off assuming you have time?  Any one of us could die today, tomorrow, next week… and you can bet the last thought in your head is going to be all the things you now regret never doing while you had the chance.  Realistically, it’s hard to throw caution to the wind and lead every day like it’s your last.  But think about what you did yesterday.  Now think about how differently you would have spent yesterday if you knew you would die today.  Surely you can incorporate some of that into how you spend today.  I don’t know about you, but it makes me want to stop being so damn scared to put myself out there creatively, to travel, to try new things, to love without reservation.  What the fuck am I protecting myself from?  I’m very fortunate… I could have been born to the Vietnam era and never made it anywhere near age 30.  I feel I have a responsibility to make use of the time I have here.  A safe life could be a life unlived.  I mean given the choice, do I want to be buried with 1) lots of joys and sorrows or 2) little of either?
7. I don’t do well with serious illness and mortality.  I always feel this tremendous weight of being expected to have some reaction that I almost never have.  It makes me feel like a sociopath.  Detached from humanity a little bit.  At first, I didn’t wouldn’t even discuss this with my own family because I was afraid even they wouldn’t understand.  It’s not that I don’t feel it.  But when things like that get to be too much, like a circuit breaker, I shut it off completely.  And then I process it slowly over time.  It’s just my way.
8. If there is any value in the Enneagram system, I am unquestionably a “Type One” (possibly with a “Type Nine” wing).  I hesitate to put all my eggs in that basket, and I know it’s not the be all / end all.  But if I’m being honest, I was sincerely moved by how true most of the Type One stuff rang for me.  Here’s hoping it helps me to understand myself a little more…

2010 was an amazing time to be alive, don’t doubt it for a second.  To explain… I’ll pick a random year of our lives.  Say 1994.  Think about that year.  It’s amazing to have lived it.  You were there for the one and only 1994 there will ever be.  The one history books refer to for this or that event, the one future generations will wonder about, the way you do when I say 1969 or 1776 or 82 B.C.  The year 1994 was every bit as unique and significant.  When I say “1994” what do you think of?  I think of the friends I had then.  The school I was attending.  The house I lived in.  The events, the births, the deaths, the way people dressed, the popular music, and the movies that came out.  The people I lived in the time of.  And think about it: you were there.  The one and only 1994 for all of history.  And you were there for the one and only 2010.  And you’re about to join me in being an equal participant and witness in the first and only 2011.  And that is amazing.

My New Year’s resolution remains — as always — to get an original music project off the ground.  But there’s good news on that front.  The rockabilly band I’ve been woodshedding with finally has a complete lineup, with an inaugural gig as early as February.  Stay tuned for details!  While I don’t have anything I’ve written officially on the docket yet, it’s only a matter of time.  I hope.  The related quote of the week comes from a shocking source.

“You have to dare to suck to be great.”

— Ricky Martin

Listening to: Stevie Wonder – “At The Close Of A Century“

In August 2005, I was taking photos around the apartment I was living in.  This was just days before I moved out, following my friend and roommate Jared’s departure.  I just found one I snapped of the magnetic fridge poetry as it was last left by us and the various guests we’d had over that year.  For no good reason I can think of, I decided to transcribe them here.  Enjoy!

1. WHAT HAS HE DONE TO THOSE THINGS
2. IT ‘S NOT A RACE
3. BE N AIN’T WRONG
4. BACK FOR YOU
5. I HAVE HAPPINESS DESPITE THE LACK OF ANYONE ELSE
6. GUYS ARE 100% MEAN
7. THINK YOU’RE NICE AND YOU ARE LAST
8. OVERTIP SOMEBODY LONELY
9. WHY ALL THE SHORT DOGS
10. HIS BIG FINISH IN YOUR BUTTER
11. RATE OF MY LIFE
12. CAN OURS BE USED TO WIN ?
13. THE 30TH WOMAN IS RARELY PLEASED
14. YOU HAVE QUESTIONS?
    SHE HAS ANSWERS
    BUT THEY ARE ALWAYS ALWAYS WRONG
    SERIOUSLY
    ALWAYS
15. YOU’RE A GREAT PESSIMIST
16. NEVER BACK DOWN
17. 99% HUMOR FREE PANTS
18. YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT ANY WAY
19. YOU’LL SENSE WHO COST THE MOST
20. WE ARE ALL SO DOWN WITH SUNSHINE
21. THE LAST WORDS
22. DO WHOEVER EVER
23. PUT YOUR THINGS IN THEIRS
24. THE MORE YOU KNIFE PEOPLE, THE FUNNIER IT GET S
25. BUT YOU’RE ALREADY PERFECT
26. YOU HAVEN’T WRITTEN TOO MUCH
27. EMBARRASSING PICK-UP LINES ABOUT EASIEST CHICKEN FAILURE
28. WASN’T IT A DAY FOR FALLING
29. FORGIVE PEOPLE THEIR GRAMMAR !
30. KEEP YOUR EASY FRIENDS
    INTELLIGENCE IS NOT IMPORTANT
    HIT THAT
31. FEBRUARY IS EXTREMELY DARK
32. DON’T OVERSHADOW YOUR CYNIC
33. SHOULDN’T YOUR SUSPENDERS HAVE FLOWERS
34. BEST BUCKS ASKING AWARD
35. IN THE SENSE
36. EVERYTHING DOESN’T HAVE HUMOR LIKE GIRLFRIENDS
37. TALKING SAID SPEECHES HEARD
38. YOU SEXY THING
39. DOESN’T HAVE GYROS
40. PRODUCER SAID ONLY IF HERS BE TO FINER
41. MAY ALL AND TO CROSS ED COLLAR DULL
42. THE ROAD IS ALSO CLOUDING
43. CHORES _____ EVERY DAY
    P.S. GOOD SONGS
44. LAUGHS MAY SEE QUIRKS OF YOURSELF
45. SOMEONE THAT YOU MIGHT THINK TO SHARE MANY . . .
46. FAN OF THE EIGHTIES

I can’t say for sure, but if I recall, I think in general most of the dirty ones were mine, the gloomy ones were Jared’s, and the incoherent ones were from our guests… because neither of us would have stood for that.   And hopefully it goes without saying, but I wouldn’t read too much into any of this.  Let’s remember we were idly moving magnets around on the fridge, not confessing anything about our respective essences.  Though it may still be fair to say that it was a different world back when we roamed the earth.

Listening to: Orange Juice – “Coals To Newcastle”

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It’s been a rough few weeks for my beloved car.  More on that in a moment.

I wanted to mention briefly that I’ve started a project I’ve been dreading for a while now.  I have begun converting all of my 250+ MySpace blogs to this site.  I’m doing everything I can to preserve the historical accuracy of each, including the comments and timestamps.  The only thing I’ll consciously be changing is updating the links that pointed to other blog postings so that it’s all on here.  Each conversion takes about 10 minutes.  Even at one or two a day — which is a big assumption I will be motivated to keep up that pace — it’ll take me the better part of a year to get them all done.  I’ve added a new category called “MySpace Archive” if you want to see what I’ve gotten to so far.  I’m going chronologically starting from the beginning.  And for those of you who subscribe to my blog here (which I encourage you to do!), I won’t be hitting you with any email notifications for the converted blogs, so don’t worry about an additional 250+ emails.

I’m trying to get in the holiday spirit.  You all know my feeling on exchanging gifts, but I did put together another Xmas CD.  You know, making mix CDs has been a hobby of mine for ages.  But with the move to digital media (iPods, etc.) there’s been an unanticipated casualty.  CD jewel cases are becoming harder and harder to find.  You can still get plain black of course, and white and clear ones at a few places.  But there was a time when you could order tons of colors, and even this slick glossy black of which I only have a few left.  Nowadays it’s all slimline (which don’t allow me to design sleeves) and digipak (which I don’t have the tools to create at home and isn’t realistic for the one-off projects I do).  I am better than average at sourcing hard-to-find things on the net, and I’m telling you this stuff just isn’t out there anymore, anywhere.  I’ve asked the internet specialists, and they’ve told me that the market for the classic jewel case is dying.  They’re dinosaurs.  I can get by with plain black and white, but I don’t like it.  I need a new strategy for future CDs.  Is it time to give up the hard copy for good and just start giving out digital copies with a .jpg attached?  Lame!  Ideas anyone?

Otherwise, the holiday season so far has had its high points.  Some good times with family and friends.  The Yard Dogs Road Show was amazing as usual.  We’ve got tickets to see Wanda Jackson and Jack White together in L.A. next month, which is going to be memorable I’m sure.  And some good TCB shows are in the works.  But yeah it’s also been fraught with all kinds of trouble, not least from my car.  Allow me to explain…

Part I: The Tale Of The Golden Fuel Pump

About a month ago, after leaving my car unattended for a couple of stormy nights on a hilltop, I found it wouldn’t start.  It cranked but wouldn’t turn over.  For some reason, I thought of the electrical storm we’d been having, and I wondered if that didn’t have something to do with it.  Friends and the tow truck driver agreed it sounded like a fuel pump problem, but what could we do?  I had it towed ~100 miles back to the S.F. area to the only place I knew I could drop it at 1am: the dealership.  Now I know what you’re thinking… of course they’re gonna rip me off.  They’re famous for it.  But in the years I’d been dealing with these guys, I feel that by and large they’ve been pretty good to me.  Well, this time they weren’t.  They charged me $1100 to replace the fuel pump, a job that most other places later quoted me $600-$700 for.  And it doesn’t end there.  A few weeks later, I was reading through my car’s manual investigating another warning light (which I’ll get into next), and what did I see?  A section that explains something to the effect of “if there has been an electrical disturbance, the vehicle’s fuel pump breaker switch — located just under the hood — may activate as a safety precaution.  Check to ensure there are no fuel leaks, and then flip the breaker switch back and the vehicle should start.”  Which is all to say that it’s possible, maybe even probable, that all I needed to do was flip a fucking switch under my hood and I would have been on my way.  It’s also possible that my car really did need that $1100 golden fuel pump (which are known to crap out at around my current mileage).  But for the rest of my life, I will always wonder if that dealership totally fucked me and overcharged me to install something they knew I didn’t need in the first place.  And the worst part is I will never, ever know for certain.

Part II: I Can Make The Ass Drop

Cut to a couple weeks later, where I’m investigating the aforementioned warning light.  I’d seen one come on a couple times for the ABS brakes.  Then later a couple times for the air suspension.  Eventually, my rear suspension went out on me on the freeway, and I was barely able to get it home with my tail almost dragging on the ground.  I wasn’t about to take it back to that dealer, but it seems there aren’t many other shops that do air suspensions on Town Cars.  I don’t know why I didn’t think of this years ago, but what’s special about Town Cars?  How about the fact that they’re widely used by fleet services!  Where do those guys go?  Well, I lucked out and found a place that specializes in Town Cars.  And this place, you cannot imagine, it was a parking lot full of smashed up limos and cabs.  A giant warehouse with 20+ Town Cars being worked on by as many mechanics.  A whole body shop in the corner.  Tires, electric, and they even custom convert/build stretches.  I mean full service exclusively for Town Cars.  The waiting room was full of what were clearly limo drivers which tells me this place must be fair, honest, and reasonable… because these drivers wouldn’t keep bringing their business vehicles back here if it didn’t make financial sense.  And unlike the dealership that fucked me, these guys see dozens of Town Cars all day, every day.  Their expertise is beyond dispute.  If there is a problem a Town Car is capable of having, these guys have seen it before.  I will be going there exclusively from now on.  How many other car models have whole warehouses dedicated to just them?  One of the unexpected benefits of driving a limo for your personal car (along with being flagged down and offered money for rides at 2am every night — honestly).  They were super quick (45 minutes!) and super cheap.

Now the here’s the rub: in what was surely a freak occurrence, someone forgot to latch my hood.  I got less than a mile down the freeway before the hood flew up, cracking the windshield and bending over the roof.  The hood itself was totalled and bent upwards so it wouldn’t close.  The roof was dented and the sunroof broken.  Luckily, I was in the slow lane for once and was able to quickly get off the road before anyone was hurt.  I meant to take a picture to post here, but I was in shock at first.  To their credit, the shop immediately sent out a tow, gave me a loaner car for the week, and fixed everything up, good as new (as far as I can tell), free of charge.  They even detailed it.  Every little dent and nick in the paint from years of use.  They even replaced a tire that was somehow damaged and ready to blow out.  When I picked it up, it looked nicer than when I bought it!  Scary story yes, but relatively happy ending, all things considered.  I have no doubt it was a freak accident (how could they stay in business otherwise?), and I will continue to bring my car to these guys… they seem to be honest and fair.

So with any luck, my car trouble is done for now.  These Lincoln problems are Cadillac worries, you know.  I know these stories make it sound like a hoopty, but those of you who’ve seen it know that it’s anything but.  It’s been a great car to me, and I don’t want this spate of malfunctions to sully that otherwise sterling reputation.  That last tow truck driver told me — without knowing my car’s recent history — that the fuel pump and suspension are the most common problems for aging Town Cars of similar mileage, but that with some TLC they will last a very long time.  Just look at how long limos and cabs are on the road.  We’re talking upwards of 400,000 miles and more.  I would love that, because I’m in love with this car.  I may have to cover that affair in a future post.

The quote of the week comes from last weekend’s “Wait Wait… Don’t Tell me!” on NPR.  They were discussing that the long-abandoned Chernobyl disaster site is being opened as a tourist attraction.

Kyrie O’Connor:  Well, actually, it’s supposed to be… I mean, it’s like totally overrun with wildlife because there’s, like, been nobody there.
Peter Sagal:  Right. I mean, if anything bites you, chances are you’ll gain the strength and powers of that animal though.

Listening to: Boston – “Greatest Hits”

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Well it’s that time of year again.  As in the past, this is what I am submitting to the collective Santa of my friends, family, and benefactors.  Tongue in cheek though.  It’s a reminder to me (of things I want to buy) more than anything else.  But if you are unshakably resolved to buy me something, at least now you’ll have a few ideas for things you know I’ll love.  If there’s one thing I hate, it’s buying a gift out of perceived obligation knowing full well that I have no idea what the person wants or needs.  What a waste for all parties involved, you know?  I’m intrigued by Scroogenomics (summarized here), and particularly the idea of donation gift cards where you give a gift in the form of a donation of a specified amount to a charity of the recipient’s choosing.  How perfect is that?  We both meet our gift exchange obligations, and instead of either of us getting junk we won’t use, that money goes to a worthy cause.  Seems ideal to me.  I really hope that catches on.  But until then…

If you’re curious, this list is a tradition I started a few years back.  Although the recently re-vamped MySpace has broken all of my old links to my blog there, as well as destroyed all my formatting — which stresses me out too much to deal with right now — you can still view the previous years here: 2007, 2008, and 2009.  I eventually got a lot of that stuff, but there’s also some great stuff on it that I have yet to get my hands on (like a belt buckle from Black Crow Arts, a bucket of IKB paint, or exclusive Wanderers merch from the insanely-expensive German site Rockabilly Rules).  But I’m going to do my best to keep it new and exciting this year.  Though I’m coveting far too much to leave any room for my traditional jokes (see previous years).  So without further ado, my wish list for 2010, in no particular order:

1. Dirt Devil
   I have a vacuum I inherited from Jared when he moved over five years ago.  Since then — I am embarrassed to admit — I have used it very rarely.  It’s just a hassle to drag out, and I think it’s old and probably needs to be emptied, which I’ve never done.  I need a convenient solution here to ease me into the idea of cleaning my carpets.  What I’m imagining is a powerful but handheld vacuum like a strong Dirt Devil or Dustbuster.  Something I can use to get the dust bunnies and cobwebs, powerful enough to do the floors, but easy to wield, manage, and empty.  For I am very lazy.  And for all my considerable powers and victories in life, I am relatively helpless when it comes to this stuff.
2. Johnny Marr’s Signature Fender Jaguar
   For over a year, there’s been chatter of Johnny Marr finally getting a signature guitar model.  I’ve even read him talking about the specs.  But it’s not on the market just yet.  Though I wish it was going to be a Gibson or even a Ric, these days he’s playing Fender Jaguars.  And Fender, as usual, is way more on the ball than Gibson.  Unfortunately.  But I’ll take what I can get.  Do I already have a Jaguar?  Yes.  Do I need another one?  Absolutely not.  Am I gonna get one anyway because it has Johnny’s blessing?  Of course I am.
3. Nile Rodgers Tablature
   I tried my best not to re-list anything I’ve mentioned in previous years, but this one bears repeating.  It’s an awesome guitar tablature (sheet music) book covering the stylings of Nile Rodgers… but it can’t be bought in or even ordered from the U.S.!  I need some international help on this one.  Or if anyone knows how to get around the international restrictions, please clue me in!
4. Jewelry (Rose Gold, Lapis, Tumbaga)
   I’m not really a bling kinda guy, you know.  I don’t wear necklaces or rings.  But I’ve had a bracelet this last year that I’m really digging.  And secretly I’m mesmerized by the pink hues of rose gold and the near orange gold color of tumbaga.  And I’ve had a life-long obsession with dark blue lapis.  Do they make chunky chain bracelets that use any of these materials?  Or short of jewelry, what other useful item could I find that incorporates precious metals and stones?  Ideas?
5. Navy Vinyl Jacket
   While we’re on the subject of fashion, my latest jacket obsession (which has lasted over a year now really), is the need for a dark navy blue pleather/vinyl jacket.  I’m talking about the shade of blue that’s so dark that it’s almost black.  I see leather jackets in this color every so often, mostly on women.  Someone somewhere makes a non-leather jacket in my size in this unique color.  I just wish I knew how to find them.
6. Seven Layer Caramel Cake
   A few months back, a coworker received a cake shipped all the way from the East Coast.  I had a piece and almost passed out.  This place Caroline’s Cakes will ship you a cake in ice so that it arrives here in California fresh and ready to eat.  Their caramel cake has frosting that tastes like a See’s “Bordeaux” (which incidentally is another dynamite gift idea).  If not for Christmas, this would also be a great birthday idea for me or for anyone whose birthday party I’m attending.
7. Buddhist Alarm Clock
   A couple years ago when I was in the thick of my battle with anxiety, I was desperately exploring ways to reduce stress in my life at every level.  Trying to find ways to improve my mental health and sleep habits, as well as just getting to where I didn’t wake up every morning in a state of undefinable dread.  Well those days are gone, but I still wonder about one of the options I never followed through with.  You see, I wake up every morning, as I have for years, to the sounds of the local 80’s R&B station.  Don’t ask me why.  I honestly don’t know.  But the idea of peacefully waking up each morning to the sounds of a gentle bell or harbor noises sounds magnificent.  Assuming they’re powerful enough to rouse me from my notoriously deep torpor.
8. Demolition T-Shirt
   Though I’ve tried to curb my t-shirt habit this last year, one is still eating away at me.  While going through my storage unit stuff recently, I came across a dozen or so WWF wrestling magazines from 1988 and 1989.  I gave them to the only actual wrestler I know (Virgil), but not before I flipped through them for old time’s sake.  In them, I saw ads for vintage WWF merch, including t-shirts for many of those classic wrestlers.  Since then, I’ve desperately wanted a Demolition shirt.  Why them?  They were among my favorites when I was little, but also they’re just obscure enough that only a fan would recognize the shirt.  The web is crawling with crappy bootleg shirts, but if Santa can find me a classy one in men’s XL, I will be one happy camper.
9. Mouse Rug
   It’s a mouse pad that’s designed to look like a little Persian rug, complete with fringe.  Seriously, there’s a company dedicated to making these.  Open sesame!
10. Monkey Island 1 & 2 “Special Edition”
    By and large, my days of playing video games are over.  Frankly, I don’t know how people my age find the time!  But there are a few from the past that hold a special place in my heart, and the Monkey Island series may well be at the top of that list.  The music and just the whole mood of those first two games is hard to put into words.  It was — at least for me — as magical as any movie experience has ever been.  I want to live in that game.  But we’re talking early 1990’s technology here.  That is, until the last year when they released “Special Editions” of those first two games on PC, which include all new artwork and music… while still retaining the option to switch back to the “classic” mode.  I must have this.  And you must buy it for me.  (As far as I can tell, they are only available via direct download.  And they’re cheap!)

That’s the most exciting stuff, but as always, a sure winner is a 2011 wall calendar.  I hang calendars on the wall at work, and I leave it up to my loved ones to choose what monthly pictures I’ll be staring at for the next year.  So surprise me!

Despite my attempts to rid myself of excess “stuff” this year, somehow I ended up with an overflowing “want list.”  So much so that I had to work hard to narrow it down to an even 10.  (Plus the wall calendar which I guess makes 11, but never you mind!)  Of course narrowing down means that there were some other things I strongly considered but ultimately rejected.  If you care, these included:

1. Fireproof Safe
   I wanted this to store a backup hard drive so that in the event of a disaster, all my writing and pictures wouldn’t be lost.  I guess it’s not a ridiculous investment, but at the end of the day, if I were to lose all that stuff… it would be tragic but maybe also liberating in some way.  My life might take a new direction if I were free from that stuff.  So I’ll continue to be careful, but I will leave some of it up to fate.
2. Professional Camera
   I like photography, but mostly I just like pictures of myself.  I’m secretly jealous of the quality pictures my friends are able to take with their high-end digital cameras.  There really is a shocking difference, and it shows.  But I also know that I am way too lazy to carry one around and use it much.  And I can’t exactly snap myself all the time.  Maybe what I should have asked for is a full-time personal photographer with a professional camera.
3. Black Velvet Painting(s)
   What self-respecting rockabilly boy doesn’t like trashy exotica and kitschy art?  I’m enamored by the gaudy black velvet paintings I see at bars, and I want some really sleazy ones for my place.  But then, I’m not really into decorating that much.  So this is more of a “someday when I buy a house” type wish, along with diner furniture, a giant Alex Ross heroic portrait of myself, etc.
4. Operation Shirt
   This actually would have easily made my top 10, but sadly I have such little hope of ever finding one that I didn’t even bother to officially include it.  I’ve so desperately wanted this Operation design… long story short, the search for it is what first led me to Threadless where I’ve since bought tons of other shirts.  But by the time I got there, production of this particular shirt had already ceased due to a lawsuit.  If you ever find one in men’s XL on eBay or whatever, you buy it for me!  You do it, Santa!  You hear me?  I will pay you back, whatever the cost.  Best.  Shirt.  Ever.
5. The Lament Configuration
   Which is to say, the puzzle box from the Hellraiser movies.  There are several companies that aim to make replicas, but I think I’ve found the best one.  Of course I want the fancy model and a dome to display it, but perhaps I could settle for the Rubik’s version.  Sure, it all looks cool, but it’s just another useless trinket.  I mean realistically, where the hell would I put it?

So there you have it.  As I said, I’m not really into gift exchange because of all the gray area.  I don’t know what you want, you don’t know what I want (except I just told you), and we don’t know what we’re each spending on each other.  Or even if we’re getting each other anything at all.  Why put ourselves in that situation?  I continue to advocate just sharing a meal for Christmas.  Let’s carve out some time to catch up.  That’s plenty of present for me this year.  Well, that and Monkey Island.

Listening to: Yard Dogs Road Show – “EP” a.k.a. “September Summer EP“

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