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I Am The Coldest Man… Ever

16 February 2006

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

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5 Comments to “I Am The Coldest Man… Ever”

  1. Did you buy that clear Neutrogena lotion/gel kinda stuff? That shit is da bomb. Seriously. Cures all cracks. Not crack, but cracks. Don’t use it on your ass or if you’re doing hard-core drugs.

    From the Denver Board of Tourism (you bet I went straight to the website when reading your blog): “Located at the base of the Rocky Mountains, Denver is one of America’s most beautiful cities. And one of the most fun. Blessed with 300 days of sunshine a year, Denver is a lively city with a great love of the outdoors. Here you’ll find the nation’s largest city park system, 90 golf courses and an incredible 650 miles of paved bike trails. But Denver is also a cultural and sophisticated city.”

    All I can say is apparently you are there on one of the other 65 days of the year, it’s one of the most beautiful cities if you were so bitter you were trying to convince yourself you made a good decision to stay there and the culture and sophistication is meant to apply to all areas not ghetto.

    Bet you’re so cold that your balls have evacuated into your body cavity. When you arrive back in SF, it will be half as cold which means I hope at least one ball drops by the time we see you. Try not to stand lopsided.

    • ^ ^ ^

      Hahaha!!!! This friend of yours is friggin’ hysterical!! I was just going to laugh at you having to use lotion (the opposite of powder), and here comes a comment like Sus’.

      BRAVO!! is all I can muster right now!!

      hee hee HO HO!!!!

    • Many men have gone on to do great things with just one ball. Look at Lance and of course my childhood dog, Dutch. Kicked out of the full breed clan for one ball. Sad story, but he prospered through the years. The ladies still loved him and he got lots of action. Of course, until he lost it all. Bummer.

  2. I think it goes without saying that you need to get yourself back to the freezing California weather – seriously, freezing! But seriously, get yourself out of Denver!

  3. Urgent…Urgent..makeitfast makeit Urgent…. EMERGENCY!!

    Yeah, I agree… a friend of mine and I think that actor is a disgusting mixed breed man of Seth Green and Will Ferrell.


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