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Baby, it’s cold outside.

18 December 2008

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:  bitchy

Fucking cold, that is.  If you’ll pardon the expression.  Baby.

I know, I know.  We’re spoiled in California, this isn’t really that cold, et cetera, et cetera.  But it’s a matter of what you’re used to, and what I’m used to is mild Bay Area weather.  Having to break out my marf (man-scarf) and glerves (gloves).  Having to use lotion (my hated nemesis) on my dry hands.  No me gusta.  Oh, and it snowed in Las Vegas yesterday.  Worst storm in 30 years they said.  So… yeah.  Of course, all the d-bags are saying “so much for global warming, yuk yuk.”  Never mind the fact that global warming is supposed to cause more extreme temperatures, not necessarily just warmer ones.  But no, no, d-bag, I’m sure you know more than all those scientist and meteorologists.  Yuk yuk.

But how about those gas prices!  $1.75 a gallon?  $28 to fill up?  Excuse me, but aren’t you the same fucks that tried to gouge me at $4 a gallon just a few months ago?  And OPEC is scrambling to stabilize oil prices, and we’re giving them the finger.  It’s a beautiful thing, and a preview of the coming decades when we’re onto renewable energy and OPEC becomes irrelevant.  But I’m sure we’ll see that $4 mark and higher again eventually, so I’ll just enjoy this temporary break while I can.

Did I mention I’m stressed out and pissy lately?  Work is getting really busy, and it may cut into my weekend and even holiday vacation!  I have much to say on this topic, but this is going to be a long enough blog as it is.  I’ll save it for another time, but the thought of work causing me to significantly shift my private life around has me seriously on edge.  It’s been making me noticeably irritable to where I’ve been snapping at people, and getting into arguments with people I never argue with.  I can see myself doing it, and I don’t like the person it’s turning me into.  This has never happened before.  It’s unsettling.

Adding to the stress is the holiday season.  All my family’s going to be away, and so I think this will actually be my first Christmas alone, ever.  I’ll see them a few days later, but just the societal pressure of this being a family holiday.  I’m anticipating a depressing few days next week.  When I met them for dinner the other night, my folks gave me one of those fold-out plastic Christmas trees to help brighten my place.  I don’t know if that’s going to make me feel better or worse to have that in the house, but at least I can’t kill it.  (Last year, Jamie got me a little tree… a live one, though not for long.)  Surely there must be some kind of social events going on in the city for Christmas?

(For at least the next couple weeks, you can see the full animated dance that Wally made us here.  Don’t know for sure how long it will be up though!)

It’s been a busy few weeks.  There’s been bad news, such as the passing of Bettie Page, icon-of-icons to half the girls I know.  Then there was more uplifting news such as the deer that mauled a hunter.  The hunter described it as “15 seconds of hell.”  I would describe it as a 15 second preview.  New Wave City and Club Gossip were nice as usual.  Got some shopping done in the Haight.  I managed to sit through the entire Dark Knight.  I had a nice dinner in the West Portal and saw Milk, which was as good as they say.

But  certainly one of the recent highlights came last night.  I had the great pleasure of seeing Bruce Campbell’s new movie, “My Name Is Bruce,” at The Bridge Theatre here in SF.  Now, the movie itself was totally bizarre.  But the real draw was that Bruce himself was there to introduce the film and be interviewed by San Francisco’s own Peaches Christ!  It turns out, he’s absolutely hilarious in real life.  It was great to hear him talk.  He told some stories about how crazy his friend Sam Raimi is, and how Sam’s Oldsmobile Delta 88 has appeared in every one of his movies including the western “The Quick And The Dead” (stripped down to its chassis and covered with a fake wagon).  Bruce also happens to be bent on destroying it, but that’s another story.

But there was an aspect I hadn’t considered.  It didn’t occur to me until it was too late that of course a Bruce Campbell event would attract super-nerds.  Like SUPER-nerds.  A theater full of them,  It reminded me of the crowd at Tenacious D a few years back.  Which is horrifying because then you wonder, “am I one of these people?”  That would have been bad enough, but then the questions they asked him during Q&A were just… so embarrassing.  Did you ever see that SNL sketch where William Shatner is at a Star Trek convention and the fans are asking him these obscure questions?  It was exactly like that.

He was asked questions like, “you remember in Evil Dead 2 when you’re running away and then you go into the bathroom and there’s a secret passageway in the bathroom?  Why was there a secret passageway there?”  So many questions like this.  There was such a fundamental lack of understanding from the crowd that Bruce Campbell is an actor with a real life and cannot possibly know or care about the details of the this stuff the way that you super fans do.  You guys watch these movies over and over and debate them.  He acted in it 25 years ago and has probably not watched it since.  And even then, that’s a question for the writer!  I’m telling you, it was that SNL sketch come to life.  The most cringe-worthy moment had to be when someone in the crowd tried to pitch a script to him!  The funniest thing though was that after this absurd Q&A, the movie starts… Bruce plays himself in the movie, and there’s a part where he’s mobbed by super fans asking him almost the same questions the SF crowd just did.  Priceless.

He seemed to take it in stride, and he had snarky responses for all the ridiculous questions he was being asked.  Jamie pointed out that he must be used to it and works with it, which I think is probably true.  I didn’t bother asking him anything because, while I love his work, what do I really have to talk to him about?  Just the same, I bet he’d love to be asked a normal, adult question once in a while.  It’s a wonder sci-fi and horror b-list celebs like him don’t go nuts from that kind of bizarre attention from cult fanbases.  Although in fairness, I can imagine that’s how it would be if I ever met Johnny Marr.  “Johnny, you remember the bootleg third alternate take of ‘This Charming Man,’ on that second verse were you playing an open D-flat or a fretted D-flat on the Telecaster track?”

The quote of the week comes from an anonymous guy in the crowd last night:

Girl In Crowd: (to Bruce, flirtatiously) Are you into polyamory?
Bruce: What’s poly… polyam… polyamory?
Peaches: It’s for perverts.
Bruce: Wait, if I say “yes,” what am I saying “yes” to exactly?
Guy In Crowd: CRABS!

Listening to: Los Straitjackets – “‘Tis The Season For…

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8 Comments to “Baby, it’s cold outside.”

  1. Brian and I went last night to the event in Berkeley with Bruce Campbell. While we were in line, which stretched around the block, I noticed all the super nerds and thought these aren’t my people, these are Brian’s people. He fit in so well, I started to get worried and wondered exactly what am I getting myself into here? Not the show, but as in life…with Brian. I am seriously concerned! 🙂

    • It’s a slippery slope, you know. I don’t want to hear about you going to any Star Trek conventions. Moz conventions only!

  2. Benjamin Bunny! I’ll be Han Solo (yep, Im a Star Wars geek- although not the kind from Wednesday night that would ask George ridiculous questions) for Christmas as well. Im tryin’ to get some sort of volunteering in but would definetly be up for a holiday walk around the lake…

    • Let me know when you’re back in town! There’s a good chance I’ll be heading to SC for part of Xmas day, but outside of that I’m pretty open… P.S. There’s a Star Wars geek in a certain band you know (but it’s not me). I’ll let you figure out who it is.

  3. this blinkered lush... (Joyce)

    hmm… i would think you unable to speak if given the chance to meet Mr. Marr. i envision a Chris Farley-esque type interview in that one SNL skit of way back when. OR, i see you like Ralphie, freezing up on Santa’s lap! That’s what I did, circa… 1988? I was in the city with my father and brother having lunch, the celeb??? Huey Lewis! i was eight.

    Merry Christmas Ben! 🙂

  4. * *Charlene DeeVille* *

    AHHHHHHH mellow out and have a stiff martini,,,,,, and it wont kill you to cuss a few people out here and there… keep them in thier place…..

    women like assholes anyway……….

    also there is PLENTY to do on XMAS F XMAS this is the reason I can’t stand it… its all hype and shit… Im just happy for the xtra days off. Your always welcome to go where ever me n nick go….. you would be surprised some of the shit I get Nick to do …. :)………………..

    you might be scared,,, but you will have fun I promise………

    • That’s exactly it… it’s just a day like any other, but so much hype to be with family, etc. Thanks very much for the invite! What are you guys up to? And more importantly, do I really want to know about the shit you get Nick to do? I’m already scared… Ha ha!

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