CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.
Current Mood: contemplative
I didn’t end up going out Saturday night, sadly. But I was feeling better on Sunday, and I ended up in the Haight with Shel. Oh, and while I was out, I bought a new hard drive. Why?
Because I had another fucking hard drive crash, damn it, damn it, damn it!!!
You may recall that I went through this nightmare last year. So Saturday night, one logical drive started acting strange and denying access, and by morning, the whole physical drive was gone. This could have been catastrophic as it included the drive with all my TCB stuff. All the pics, videos, flyers, et cetera from all the years with the band. But I’m no fool, and after getting burned last year, I have been religious about backing up all my important stuff. So when this drive went kaput, I lost virtually nothing that was irreplaceable. But I cannot stress enough, a word to the wise… if you, like me, have writing, pictures, anything that you couldn’t stand to lose living on your computer, make sure it lives on more than one piece of hardware. Because your hard drive, flash drive, whatever, could take a dump on you at any time. I’m super serious!
Well, December is here already. I can’t believe a whole year has gone by. This has seriously got to have been the fastest year of my life yet. Terrifying! The last six months in particular went by in a blink. I don’t even want to think about it. But the holidays are here, and it’s pointless to deny it. To try to get into the holiday spirit, let’s begin with the hilarious Christopher Walken’s 12 Days Of Christmas.
In terms of the previous Christmas, I actually did pretty good, eventually getting my hands on over half of the things on last year’s wish list. This year, I want so badly to rehash those same jokes too (because frankly, they were gold), but I will refrain. Though I am putting IKB on there again (come on, Santa!). So what do I want for Christmas? Without further ado…
- A 2009 monthly calendar for my wall at work – Aside from pictures of Sus’ cats, a calendar is the only thing I have to look at. Well, other than work. And a hand mirror. I’ve been trying to think of a good calendar theme for this year, but there are too many to choose from. Surprise me!
- Calvin Klein’s Eternity. For bears… er… men. – This is my scent (for you boys and girls who dream of me and want to know what to spray on your pillow). I’ve almost run dry! Spritz spritz!
- Another year of my 20’s. Seriously, any year. I’m less picky this time. 30 is breathing down my neck!
- A bucket of International Klein Blue paint – Ever since I saw some of Yves Klein’s work at the SF MOMA, I’ve been obsessed with the story of his patented color, and I want some of it. Or perhaps one of my art school friends could tell me how to get a reasonable substitute?
- A newsboy cap – It seems like years I’ve been searching for the right hat. I have a flat cap that’s served me well, but I’m always on the lookout for a black or gray newsboy, in a medium cut, that will fit my massive 7½ head. You cannot imagine how many variations I’ve come across that are all-but-one of those requirements.
- My own Christmas elf. What do you mean, “what am I going to do with it?” That’s none of your concern! Who are you to judge me!?
- A black Gretsch Synchromatic – OK, so the last thing I need is another guitar. And in this economy, it probably isn’t wise to be making these kind of purchases at all. But what would life be without another guitar always on the horizon?
- Magic Sam’s fingers.
- A letterman sweater – The black and white letterman jacket went over so well last year, that I am considering taking the next step. There were nay-sayers before hand, but they were silenced by the endless stream of compliments the jacket garnered. But maybe this time, I really have gone too far? I was thinking very pale yellow with dark navy blue arm stripes and a “C” on the front. Cal pride and all, circa 1952. Am I crazy?
- The balls to finally get an original music project off the ground in 2009. (Note: this may require actually getting my balls back from Sus, which I’m not sure is negotiable.)
This year, the economy’s even worse off than it was last year of course. So once again, before you run out and buy, make, or kidnap any of these things for me… I don’t really need any of them. I have too much stuff as it is, and in all likelihood, so do you. So let’s not exchange stuff. Let’s make plans to see each other and have meaningful interaction instead, umkay?
On a totally unrelated topic, I was thinking about marriage today. When I was younger, I just kind of assumed it was something I wanted for myself eventually. I have to say, these days the idea is a lot scarier to me. That’s not to say that I want to spend my life a bachelor, but the idea of planning and going through with a wedding at this point in my life… talk about panic attacks! I mean, I can barely stand to be in the same room with anyone for very long these days. The thought of being relied on day in and day out, and all my decisions being “our” decisions. I feel trapped just thinking about it! I guess part of that is my general anxiety, and maybe part is that stereotypical fear of commitment (which I never thought I’d have). But then I think there’d also be a relief in being married. Like once you make that decision and go with it, your life path would become a lot clearer, wouldn’t it? A lot less ambiguity, or more bluntly, a lot of doors would close. Is that totally unromantic? Sorry…
But anyway, I was thinking about how most people I know aren’t married. Maybe it’s just the friends I happen to have, or the kinds of people I surround myself with, but I kinda thought that at my age, most people I knew would be married. I guess I even expected I’d be married too. But in fact, most of us aren’t even close. My model growing up was my parents and their friends, who were all generally married couples. So I’m left feeling that we’re all missing the boat. Are we? Is it just a generational thing? Or the fact that our world is a lot bigger than theirs was? I guess there’s no rush, but why aren’t we all getting hitched in our early 20’s the way our parents did?
And on that note, the quote of the week comes once again from Risa Mickenberg’s Taxi Driver Wisdom:
“You marry out of your greatest love or your greatest fear.”