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DIVERSION – Self Improvement

16 December 2007

CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:  busy

OK, so I’m finding that with Christmas and everything else going on right now, I just don’t know when I’m going to have time again to write a proper blog.  But to hold you over until I do, I thought I would paste in here some of the funnier email subject lines that have come through my spam filter lately.

I do wonder, who writes this stuff?  I guess the intention is to strike some chord of self doubt in men that will ultimately motivate us to go to some shady website and either buy a product or contract a computer virus?  I also wonder how effective spam email like this really is.  On the one hand, you’d have to be an idiot to go along with it, but on the other hand, it must cost virtually nothing to send out millions of messages like this.  I will include my initial reactions in red.  Enjoy…

She will certainly appreciate your new dick at its true value!
Yes, I’m sick of getting low-balled.

Don’t miss it out!  Grow a monster in your pants for New Year!
Grow a monster?  Fucking ew!

Intensify her sensations by increasing your love stick!
Love stick?  You can do better, spam email.

Enormous monster phallus is every woman’s dream!
Is that true?  Sounds more like a foreign horror movie title poorly translated.

Forget about problems caused by your tiny penis!
Such as where to hang my towel?

Girls don’t like to get laid by baby dicks…
There are a lot of things wrong with that statement.

The advantages of having a big penis are innumerable!
Just think, I could hang two towels!

Girls do not like you because your dick is too small.
Stop sugar-coating things, spam email.  Give it to me straight.

If your warrior of love is too small, you may lose this war.
Your metaphors are improving, but I know you can still do better.

Turn your weewee into real monster!
Jesus, why always a monster?  Ew!

Tiny dicks need medical treatment.
To appeal to the hypchondriac I assume?

Show that you’re a real man deserving a real phallus!
Pinocchio: The Later Years?

Elongate your short sword to fit her scabbard better!
Pure Shakespeare, spam email.  Well done!

Your girlfriend leaved you alone because of your cock size.
Perhaps she was scared off by my “enormous monster phallus.”

Add some more male meat to your package!
This sounds like you’re talking about food.  Well it does!

Well I guess you can call it a dick.
Wow, spam email.  Harsh.

You won’t need to furtively put socks into your trunks anymore!
I must admit, I did not see “furtive” coming.

No woman would refuse from getting laid by a full-size dick.
Finally, the silver bullet I’ve been searching for.

The volume of your male meat is absolutely essential!
OK, OK, I’m sold!

OK, back to my “to do” list for the weekend.  One more week till Christmas, bitches!  Night night.  🙂

Diversion, MySpace Archive

2 Comments to “DIVERSION – Self Improvement”

  1. I’m confused…is this your real ‘Dear Santa,’ Wish List? If you really want your balls back, they’re hanging from a tree til the 31st. A tree. I’m not gonna tell you which one. Better keep your eyes peeled. They aren’t necessarily low-hanging.

  2. The Queen is Jessica

    I don’t know that I like female genitalia being referred to as a “scabbard.” That makes it sound…scabby. Ew!

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