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Current Mood: cold
Last night, I drove into downtown Denver to meet an old PeopleSoft friend. It was cold when I entered the restaurant. It was snowing when I exited. I drove back to the hotel in the wispy drifts of snow. I walked several hundred feet through this falling snow. It was God damned cold. Holy shit was it cold. Snow flakes landing in my eyes. My ears and nose numb. I’m sorry Denver, but I have no choice but to ask of you what I asked of Phoenix and the state of Wisconsin: why on earth would anyone have ever chosen to settle here? I have the comforts of modern climate control, and I still hate it here. Before the West was won, who climbed the Rocky Mountains, found this cold ass snowy shit, and said, “let’s build a city here?” Actually, maybe I just answered my own question. They probably discovered what would become the Denver area during summer. Then they built a house, and when winter came around, they were so bitter about having taken the time to build it that they stayed just out of spite for Mother Nature. Thus, Denver was born out of bitterness and cold. I suppose Denver’s board of tourism might have other ideas.
As I type this, there’s a V-Cast phone ad on the television which includes the use of “Urgent” by Foreigner. I have just this instant begun a boycott of all Verizon products and services.
My lips have been getting more chapped every day. My hands are dry, cracked, bleeding, and screaming. I had no choice but to finally breakdown and buy lotion… for the first time in my life. You may recall that I absolutely detest greasy lotion anywhere on me. But I had no choice, and though I hate the grease, it did fix my hands right up. They’re just about right as rain after just about 24 hours now. This morning, my lips were killing me (I hate Chapstick, too), so I took the Neutrogena label’s recommendation and tried it on my lips. It worked a little, but it tasted like soap. And as I’ve said, it’s greasy and doesn’t really wash off. And that fact pretty much ruined my lunch. “Excuse me waiter, which wine goes best with Neutrogena?”
Despite the cold and snow, I decided to venture downtown again tonight, this time with the other consultant with me here in Colorado. He’s a kind and cultured older fella. This was to be the coldest night of my entire life so far. I should have known by the icicles hanging off every side of every car in the snowy hotel parking lot. I’ve never seen that before. We got lost trying to find the restaurant (BD’s = awesome vegetarian Mongolian BBQ = one of my favorites from the Denver area). And when we thought we were close, we got out of the car to try to find it on foot. It was no more than 20 degrees outside. I wanted to die. Luckily, they have an (unheated) free bus line that takes you around the outdoor street mall area we were in.
After a great dinner, we headed back to the car (via unheated bus which we had to wait in sub-20 temperature for). Naturally, we got lost again and found ourselves in what must be Denver’s ghetto. Burned out and unkept houses with bars on the windows and cops all around. It was almost quaint looking, these little homes… very much like the little towns in old westerns. Actually maybe like a horror movie, as they were all dark and dirty. Creepy. Haunted almost. Like an old ghost town maybe. By the time we got back to the freeway, we’d also driven through a train yard. This was some old timey ghetto.
This consultant I’m working with is very mild-mannered. I’ve only ever heard him cuss once. It was tonight, on the bus.
“So tomorrow let’s make sure to cover all those metrics we discussed with them today, and Jesus I’m fucking cold right now.”