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Things I Learned This Weekend

6 September 2005

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Current Mood:  tired

  1. Taking care of a dog is a big hassle.  No matter how cute they are, they are ultimately dirty and they poop a lot.  My cat-personhood is reaffirmed.
     
  2. If I were gay, I’d be a “bear.”  The more I learn about this group, the more I think I’d have a place there.  You mean I can be chubby, hairy, and wear gaudy belt buckles?  And these are prized traits?  Where do I sign up?
     
  3. I am the next Johnny Marr.  Band practices are going so well, and I can’t wait to rock all of your socks.  Our first gig is on the horizon.  Details to follow.
     
  4. I am crazy… or else I am surrounded by people who are making me crazy… or else these people only have me convinced that I’m crazy.
     
  5. Girls never believe you can fight unless they see it for themselves.  And while they will always tell you they never want to see it… of course they do.
     
  6. My long-standing conflict with lotion continues.  I am right to dislike lotion.  It ruins everything.
     
  7. Empathy is priceless.  A close friend saved my life this weekend if for no other reason than that she is as crazy as I am.
     
  8. Alice (in Wonderland) is far and away the sexiest Disney character of all time.  No contest.

So it’s an unexpectedly hot-assed night in Phoenix, and it’s time to go to bed and start my work week.  But I wanted to share one last thing with you all.  The “hitman” compliment I mentioned a while back has been temporarily supplanted with a new best compliment ever.  I’m walking through Oakland airport tonight wearing a Meat Is Murder shirt.  I walk by this couple and I overhear this:

Girl: “Oh, I like his shirt.”
Guy: “Yeah, and he looks like Morrissey.”

That’s fucking right I do, bitches.  That’s right I do.  OK, g’night y’all.

“Just for the record, she still loves you.  She wouldn’t bother to torture you if she didn’t.  You fucker.  Can you feel this?”

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6 Comments to “Things I Learned This Weekend”

  1. The Queen is Jessica

    7) Empathy is priceless. A close friend saved my life this weekend if for no other reason than that she is as crazy as I am.

    Is this me?! Dare I think so?

  2. “1) Taking care of a dog is a big hassle. No matter how cute they are, they are ultimately dirty and they poop a lot. My cat-personhood is reaffirmed.”

    – – No joke! Dog’s seem to be just a huge hassle!

    “4) I am crazy… or else I am surrounded by people who are making me crazy… or else these people only have me convinced that I’m crazy.”

    – – But what’s normal?

  3. excellent points, old chum.

    however, while i used to hate lotion, i now use it occasionally to combat the increasing dryness i feel around my eyes and forehead after a day spend in the sun. concordantly, i’ve found that washing my hands immediately afterwards with aloe vera soft soap precludes the deleterious effects associated with lotion usage (e.g. getting lotion on things other than my skin in the brief time it takes for the lotion to set in). even so, i’m convinced that excessive lotion application will lead to drier and drier skin which will require more and more lotion to maintain normalcy.

    how insidious!

    • The Queen is Jessica

      Wow…um Ben, you’ve got an even more OCD friend than yourself! That is amazing! I wonder if he uses lotion elsewhere? Hee Hee.

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