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Live From The Atlantis

10 February 2005

 CONVERSION NOTICE: This is one of 250+ blogs that originally appeared on MySpace. I’ve done my best to represent it with as much historical accuracy as possible, but there are limitations. Read about it in the FAQ.

Current Mood:  drained

This week, it’s Reno, Nevada, Bitches.

I actually have family in Reno. I’ve got a lot of memories of coming up here as a child, staying at places like Circus Circus, and visiting grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles. Watching circus shows, playing carnival games (remember the one where you spray water into a clown’s mouth until a balloon above his head pops?), playing in the little patches of snow that collect beside the road, and eating at greasy spoons.

It’s not like that anymore.

When I arrived, Reno was still covered with the consequence of the last month’s snow storm. Beautiful, really. Mountains all around me, covered with snow. It’s the kind of winter wonderland that you don’t get a lot of in the SF bay area. I’m staying at the Atlantis, and I’ve eaten twice at its Italian restaurant. Asparagus soup? Mother of mercy, was it fucking good.

I took a trip to see Circus Circus again, maybe trying to find something familiar. It’s nothing like I remember it. Of course it seems smaller. But something else too. It’s… darker somehow. I don’t know. I kept getting that feeling like I was seeing the dark underbelly of something that makes a considerable effort to present itself as wholesome. The clown whose smile masks his fangs. The mother figure who’s actually a hooker. And really, that’s Reno in a nutshell. It’s the old and burned-out trying to seem young and hip. It’s all tired old folks and wigger redneck youths. It’s a lot of makeup covering up a lot of broken things.

One thing Reno has all over San Francisco though: free parking garages. There is no such thing in SF. Taking advantage of this limitless parking, I went to a local brewery with a guy I’m working with this week. Totally randomly, I saw one of Jen’s old friends from college. I haven’t seen her in 5 years, and certainly had no reason to expect her in Reno. Small world, huh? And I got a White Russian there… served in a pint glass. It was fucking ginormous. No shit, I’ll post a picture of it later if I remember.

So me roommate Jared continues his success on his path to getting that MBA. Interviewing at Oxford and Cambridge in England this weekend. Jesus, he’s effin’ smart. I can’t wait till he graduates and becomes a CEO of some company. Then he can hire me into some easy, high-paying job.

It occurs to me, as I review some of my posts lately, that my life is a series of things “not being like they used to.” Reno is a hole. All my ex-girlfriends are getting married. My company (which I loved so much) has been acquired by its arch-nemesis. I’ll be changing jobs soon. My parents have sold their house and when they leave, my last ties to that town are gone. Jared will be moving and going away to school. Things are always changing, seemingly for the worse. The best years of my life always seem to be just behind me. And I’m sure next year, I’ll be saying the same thing about this year. So, the $64,000 question: what’s the cure, folks?

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One Comments to “Live From The Atlantis”

  1. The Queen is Jessica

    Hmmm…I’m an ex-girlfriend…and I am not getting married. I’m not even engaged! I’m in a domestic partnership. We are going to be sharing a bank account soon…but not married soon! Someday!

    Also, your parents are moving? You never told me. NEGLECTFUL FRIEND.

    Your cure is always in a Morrissey song (you should know that by now):

    “Won’t somebody stop me
    From thinking
    From thinking all the time
    About everything
    Oh, somebody
    From thinking all the time
    So deeply, so bleakly ?
    So bleakly all the time
    About everything ? (Who I am, how I ever got here)
    Somebody stop me
    From thinking
    From thinking all the time
    So bleakly, so bleakly
    So bleakly all the time”

    XoXo,
    Me

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